Entries tagged with “pregnant”.


There may not be another act that is as intimate as creating a baby.

Not only is physical intimacy required, but emotional intimacy is involved as well. Hopes and dreams for a Soul that isn’t even on the planet are intertwined with a deep desire for everything to be “okay” with the pregnancy and baby.

When infertility gets introduced into the baby making process, physical intimacy is often removed, but emotional intimacy skyrockets. Fear. Worry. Wonder. Anger. Hurt. Jealousy. Rage. Questioning. Sadness.

Emotions explode and intimacy suddenly feels overwhelming. Who really wants to get more intimate with what can feel like a raging river?

Often, the reaction is to seek refuge in the mind: how can I figure this out? What can I do to fix this problem? What steps do I need to take? I’ll do whatever it takes to make this happen.

Intimacy gets pushed to the side and action takes over.

And yet, when this happens, the true opportunity of intimacy is missed.

Infertility is a signal that your mind-body-spirit is out of balance. Infertility is an invitation to delve into a deeper understanding of the connection between your mind, your emotions, your connection to spirit, and your body.
Many mistake this opportunity as blame. As in, “This is my fault.”

I invite you to look at this through a different lens. This is a call from your Soul to bring you back into alignment. It’s a call for a more intimate understanding of your Self and a deep transformation that will bring you into a new way of communicating with your body and the world around you, as well as finding your path to becoming a Mother.

Ready to use the power of intimacy?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

If you aren’t receiving the child you want, then you have some underlying beliefs that are impacting your ability to receive.

In my 17 years of experience in working with women to help them create the family they desire, I have noticed certain themes in these beliefs that were blocking their ability to conceive.

Body
Will it be safe for you to go through a pregnancy?
How hard will pregnancy be on your body image?

Sexuality
Beliefs developed from trauma or abuse.
Comfort with your body’s cycles.
Knowing that having sex is safe.

Feminine vs Masculine Energy
Are you able to receive?
Can you receive without feeling guilty or needing to prove you’re worthy first?
Can you exchange the driving, striving, pushing energy with allowing, receiving, and nurturing?

Baby’s Health
Fear the baby won’t be healthy
Significant fears and worries about being able to keep your child safe.

Family History
Wanting to be like / not like parents.

Work/Life Balance
Will you be able to be the parent you want to be and nurture what’s important to you as an individual, including career.

Relationships
Will a baby come between you and your partner?
Who do you want to be as a mother?

General Themes
Perfectionism.
Flow of life: is life hard / struggle vs. joy / ease — are you willing to allow what you want to come with joy and ease?

Sometimes treatment is enough to overcome the conflicting beliefs. But, if treatment hasn’t been helping… or if you want to take a more natural approach, learning your personal underlying blocks can be helpful.

Of course everyone is an individual. My invitation to you is to sit with the list and see what resonates and what comes up for you.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Just last week I had a conversation with a community member who was anxious because she wasn’t able to keep positive thoughts about the outcome of her cycle all the time. Her fear was if she wasn’t able to keep those thoughts going, her cycle would end up failing.

In other words, thinking positive was the step that would *make* a pregnancy happen.

Depending on who you are, you might substitute any other action step: the right doctor, the right Chinese Medicine practitioner, the right diet, the right amount of sleep, the right amount of meditation, etc. Get the wrong formula and you won’t *make* the pregnancy happen.

It is not your job to make a pregnancy happen.

It is your job to receive a pregnancy.

Your job is to be in alignment with the state of being that allows pregnancy. When you use meditation, relaxation, yoga, nature hikes, acupuncture, herbs, nutrition, and yes, even assisted reproduction, you are putting your body into the being state to receive a pregnancy.

So, in any given moment, you get to ask yourself, “Is what I am thinking/feeling in alignment with receiving a pregnancy?”

You will know the answer is ‘yes’ if how you are thinking/feeling matches with how you would think and feel when the baby is present. If you will feel joyful when a baby is present, then feeling joyful is your job. When you are feeling joyful, then you are in receiving mode. If you’re not sure, then simply go with feeling “good.”

What’s really powerful about being in the receiving mode is that the steps to take to receive your baby unfold with ease and clarity.

This is so different than so many of the messages we’ve gotten about how to “go after” what we want: Work hard. No pain, no gain. Fight for what you want. Make it happen. Fertility simply doesn’t respond well to these kinds of concepts.

Take a moment and notice the difference between going to acupuncture because that is THE step that will MAKE a baby happen for you… and going to acupuncture because it helps you feel good in body~mind~spirit, and feeling good puts you in alignment with a baby.

The difference may feel subtle to you; however, I assure you the difference is powerful. Take a breath and release the heavy responsibility of *making* a pregnancy happen and instead, allow yourself to shift into receiving mode. Your baby is there.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Stop Sign WhoaThis may sound like strange advice coming from someone whose business is based on fertility meditations and Unlock Your Fertility coaching services:

Sometimes the best step you can take for your fertility is to remove your focus from fertility.

Why?

When you are over-focused on doing for your fertility, several things can happen:

  1. You are so focused on the doing, so much that you don’t achieve the being-state, which is an important part of whatever technique or method you are using.For example: Let’s say you decide to take a yoga for fertility class. Except, you are also doing acupuncture. Meditation CDs. Eating a whole foods fertility diet. Oh, and working 40+ hours to save up for a potential IVF down the road.So, you fit in the yoga for fertility class, but you race to get there, enjoy the class, but then you are off to somewhere else immediately, completely losing the Zen state you achieved.

    Yes, you can “tick” the box that states, “Take a yoga fertility class.” But, you aren’t letting it completely work for you. Just showing up and doing the class isn’t what creates the changes within your body.

  2. You are so focused that you begin to think you are the one who is creating the pregnancy (or not).Your job is to be in alignment (energetically, physically, and spiritually) with fertility, the actual process of conception will happen outside of your will.When you get micro-focused on every single detail, you create this sense of needing everything to be “perfect” and feeling super stressed when that doesn’t happen. Or, you end up beating yourself up because no matter how hard you work, conception isn’t happening.

    This puts your body in the opposite state to fertility.

  3. You view everything in your life through the lens of (in)fertility.You spend all your time in comparison (to your friends, family, people in the news). (In)fertility masks everything else in your life and leaches every ounce of joy from all aspects of your life. Life becomes, in a word: miserable.

So does this mean you should revert to not thinking about fertility at all, drink wine constantly, and become a complete couch potato?

Well, perhaps.

What I am suggesting is to dive deeply into thinking about what it is you are attempting to create as you focus on your fertility. My answer to that question is that you are creating the space with your mind, body, and spirit to allow a pregnancy.

Sometimes, to create that space, you need to shift your focus away from fertility. Instead, place that focus on creating peace. Quiet within your body. Learning to receive. Releasing old resentments. Trusting the Universe to bring you what you want.

Read over that list again. How does your body — not your mind — respond? Can you feel a sense of ease? That’s exactly what you want to create.

Maybe a glass of wine isn’t a bad start.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

In order for healthy conception to occur, your mind~body~spirit system must be open, communicating, and supportive of your intellectual desire to conceive. Each aspect of the system can place ‘stop signs’ to conception. Now, that’s anthropomorphizing in a big way… and yet, our mind~body~spirit system is a very alive system that has many moving parts, all working together to bring your heart’s/soul’s desire to physical existence.

What gets in the way of this happening? Why WOULDN’T your system work towards creating your heart’s desire?

The simple answer to this question is: safety.

Your mind~body~spirit’s main job is to keep you safe and alive. It’s in easy to think of some forms of safety: keeping you from stepping out in front of a bus, or deciding not to slip into bath water that makes your foot reflexes recoil from water so hot you would burn your skin. But what if safety came from your belief that you can’t share your true thoughts? Or that it was more important that someone else be happy than you? Or if something comes easily to you, you don’t deserve it?

Where do these beliefs come from?

Life experience. And not necessarily even your OWN life experience.

Most of our beliefs are in place by the age of seven. Some people even say three. So as an adult, you’re making decisions and beliefs from a child’s point of view.

What’s more: the part of brain responsible for recording emotions begins developing from the second day of conception. Can you have emotions this early? Your Mother did. From very, very early on in your Mother’s pregnancy with you, you were picking up on her emotional experiences and her vibrations.

If there was some stress and then some relief and then some stress and some relief then you learned that when stress happens, peace isn’t far behind. But, if there was a lot of fear and worry and no relief — your very basic systems learned the world isn’t a place to be trusted.

By the age of three you already developed the “lens” you look at life through.

Add to that the other beliefs you may have learned as you are growing up: keep quiet. Children are a hassle. You can’t have what you want. These beliefs weren’t yours to start with; they simply came with your experience.

You might begin to think that you are doomed. Or I’m telling you to place blame squarely on someone else’s shoulders. Not at all.

The idea is to begin to take a look at your own beliefs about the world. Are they really true? What do you really want to believe? How could NOT getting pregnant seem like a safer solution to your body than GETTING pregnant?

That last question’s a doozy. At least it can be when you haven’t thought about conceiving from a mind~body~spirit perspective. The first step is to find the beliefs. The next step is to begin to build new beliefs and remove those stop signs your body thinks are keeping you safe.

You hold the power to change the “lens” through which you see the world. The “lens” that creates the beliefs that can create the stop signs to conception. How wonderful will it be to clean house of the beliefs that are creating things in your life that weren’t even yours to begin with!

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

From a Western Medicine prospective, or even from what we value here in the United States, getting to a “better feeling place” doesn’t really rank very high in importance. In fact, Americans tend to take on the personal mantra: No pain, No gain.

When it comes to your body and your fertility, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve spent time in this newsletter and in all my classes sharing with you what happens when you push yourself relentlessly and ignore the pain that infertility typically brings.

What I would like to share with you today are the benefits that come from trying something new and making feeling better one of your highest priorities.

You will find a wealth of benefits throughout your Mind~Body~Spirit system. I’ll take them one by one. Here’s what you can expect in each aspect of your system when you step into the better feeling place:

Mind

  • Immediately, any fog or cloudiness in your mind will begin to clear.
  • You’ll be able to make decisions again.
  • The wear and tear of obsessive thoughts will disappear.
  • Emotions like hope, believe, and expectation will begin to become possibilities again.

Body

  • The ever present low level stress in your body that engages the stress response will stop.
  • Your cells will move from “protect mode” to “growth mode,” allowing them to function at their peak potential.
  • The pressure will come off your reproductive organs as well as multiple systems in your body like your immune system, endocrine system, and neurological system. Now they can communicate with each other and work at their fullest potential.

Spirit

  • As you release the pressure at both the level of the mind and the body, you become even more connected to Spirit, God, Your Higher Self, Universal Energy — whatever word you use to describe the higher power that is part of all of us.
  • As you open back up to your connection, you allow the full power to flow through you again, allowing you access to eternal wisdom and insights.
  • When you open up to a higher power, you immediately take the burden off of you — such relief.
  • You open up to the wisdom of this higher power. No longer do you have to live, wondering about the “how’s” or “when’s.” You follow the insights that come up, but you no longer have to push hard and choose everything.

Stepping into a better feeling place isn’t a one time action and you don’t have to do it all at once. Each time you make a small step or make a small decision to step into a better feeling place, you bring yourself that much closer to all the benefits I listed.

And, since what you really want is to have a family — you can think of everything else as a “side effect.” How many other fertility enhancers can provide a list like this?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

When you aren’t receiving something that you’ve been working so hard to achieve, one of the aspects that can be “off” in your psyche is the concept of what it means to “want.”

Is it okay to “want”?

Do we all really deserve what we want?

Is it fair to say that everyone who “wants” a baby should receive one?

Many spiritual traditions and let’s face it, many parents and society in general, instill in us the message: it’s not okay to want. It’s selfish to want. You don’t always get what you want. Don’t get your hopes up.

But is it really true?

In my Spiritual journey, I’ve learned something completely to the opposite: wanting is what helps your soul evolve. As you develop new wants and allow yourself to align with them, you are developing and growing not just yourself, but the world as a whole.

These types of wants range from material to the esoteric.

Wants are driving your growth and what you are receiving. You’re literally wired to want.

“But, Jennifer,” you say, “I’ve wanted a baby for a long time now, why aren’t I receiving what I want?”

Sometimes it takes a while for wants to manifest in physical form. As humans, we like to give meaning, so we create beliefs about the fact that the baby isn’t present yet: “I must not deserve this.” Or, “I’m not good enough to deserve this.” Or, any other combination or permutation of those messages.

Here’s what I want you to realize: when you make a decision like that, you are literally working against your Self and your Soul. When you carry these beliefs deep within your system, the Universe is going to bring more experiences that match this belief.

You are setting up beliefs that make it even harder to get what you want. This, of course, tends to seem to prove the belief.

The place to start is knowing: “I deserve what I want. I choose to receive what I want.”

What other beliefs about wanting are you now ready to release?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

As humans, we crave meaning. We need to know WHY something is happening. Perhaps it’s the thought that if we know the “why,” we’ll know the “how” to solve the issue that fuels the search.

Sometimes, though, the unresolved search for meaning leads to considerable stress and leads us to ask questions that are even more difficult to answer. Because they are difficult to answer, we often “make up” our own meanings that come more from our wounded self than from Truth.

A question that often comes up when I speak to clients is: “Is it possible that I’m just not supposed to have children? Maybe God doesn’t want me to have children?” Sometimes clients have already decided they are being punished by God. Or simply, children aren’t part of their life purpose.

If this is something you have been thinking about, here’s my suggestion.

When you are dealing with an issue as charged as infertility or loss, it is easy for the hurt part of your mind to give you an answer that isn’t true.

To get a true answer, schedule a time when you can go somewhere very quiet and a place that you feel most connected with your higher power. Spend several minutes just breathing. Allow yourself to come into this present moment. Then, in whatever way feels most comfortable and authentic, connect with your higher power.

When you feel the connection, ask the question: are children part of my life path?

Notice the impulses and intuition that you receive.

Connecting and asking the question from a quiet and centered space is the only way to get a clear answer. This allows you to get an answer that is not from your conscious mind or the part of you that has been hurt over and over.

No matter what your question, this process will help you receive answers; and you will stay out of the negative downward stress spiral that comes when the hurt part of you is trying desperately to answer the question.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

How many times have you heard women are born with all the eggs they will ever produce? How many times have you heard there is nothing you can do to change the health of your ovaries, follicles, and resulting eggs?

Neither of these is true and it breaks my heart each time I hear a new client talk with me about these fears.

Dr. Randine Lewis addressed both of these issues very eloquently in a recent blog post. If you are not aware of Randine’s work with fertility, please visit her site at TheFertileSoul.com, or pick up a copy of her book, The Infertility Cure.

I am sharing her full article with you today.

Can Women Make New Eggs?

By Dr. Randine Lewis
TheFertileSoul.com

A new study confirmed the underlying belief, unproven, that the ovary contains deep, hidden stem cells, capable of becoming new eggs. It was previously believed that a woman’s ovarian potential was determined before birth, and was incapable of being improved upon. While science hasn’t been able to study ovarian potential from healthy, living ovarian tissue, rodent studies have supported the idea that mammalian ovarian cells have a potential to produce new cells. Yet, the only tissue science has previously had to study was pathological or diseased tissue, removed from the body. It was previously proven that menopausal ovaries, when placed in a younger, healthier body, were capable of ovulating again. Science does not know how, why, or under what circumstances those stem cells can produce eggs.

The ovaries respond to cues from the internal environment (the blood circulation, hormones, nutritional status, oxygenation, stress hormones in the blood., toxin and antioxidant levels…) and create a follicular environment to mimic the body’s internal response to its external environment. It is within that follicular environment that the eggs (which have been in a dormant state since before birth) undergo meiosis, and wait to see if they will be selected for maturation and ovulation.

Knowing that ovarian tissue is capable of producing new eggs, and knowing that primordial follicles remain dormant until called into circulation by communicating with the body’s internal environment (which is based on her emotional interpretation of the external environment), let me provide a couple of stories from women I have treated.

  • A woman underwent high dose radiation and chemotherapy, which “killed” her ovaries. She conceived naturally.
  • A woman in ovarian failure, with an FSH value over 100, conceived naturally.
  • A woman conceived during her 7th IVF at age 47.
  • A woman conceived naturally with ¼ of one ovary.
  • A woman conceived naturally with only one ovary on the left, and only one fallopian tube, on the right.
  • A woman gave birth to her first child, conceived naturally, at age 48.

The body is capable of miraculous feats, when provided the right cues. I am less concerned with how to manipulate stem cells in the lab ten years from now, than I am with providing the right environment where the body can call upon its deepest, dormant potential now.

While the examples might be clinical anecdotes and not research worthy, the beauty of these stories is that each of the women above had to call upon a higher potential within.

According to Chinese medicine, the energy that stirs this primordial potential comes not from the Kidneys (which govern the ovaries), but from the Heart (Spirit’s) interaction with the primordial potential within the ovaries. Energetically, ones highest potential must reach into one’s most basic potential.

When an internal pressure cooker is provided (like the fertility journey,) an internal state of tension is produced, requiring one to call upon this higher level of interaction. If it isn’t accessed, the HPO axis continues on its previous (horizontal) pathway of decline. When a woman can access her heart’s highest potential, we can consider it an evolutionary jump, calling upon that hidden (vertical) potential to now manifest at a higher level.

Dr. Randine Lewis is the author of The Way of The Fertile Soul (Atria/Simon & Schuster, 2007) and The Infertility Cure (Little, Brown & Company, 2004), and her work is regularly featured in the international media including on CBS’ The Early Show and in the Washington Post, The Economist, the Wall Street Journal Europe, the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Therapies, Elle magazine, Organic Style magazine, Pregnancy magazine and other publications. Dr Lewis is also the creator of The Fertile Soul ® body, mind, spirit program of deep internal healing based upon Taoist and Chinese medical practices. For more information, including retreats, please visit www.TheFertileSoul.com.

 

Question:

clock_south_hampton2How do you maintain a positive attitude while in the waiting period after embryo transfer (for IVF cycle) and preparing yourself emotionally for a possible failure? After several failed cycles, it is too painful to not try to prepare oneself for a negative outcome. It’s too painful to believe with all your heart that you are pregnant and then receive a call that you are not. I do use your IVF Meditation CD and love it, but it gets harder the last few days to get into that zone of peace your meditation CD usually brings.

Answer:

Here’s the question I ask my individual clients who have been through the ringer over and over again:

Where can you put your best focus?

Chances are, if you are someone who has been through believing and then getting negative results, focusing on “I’m pregnant” is going to be really hard.

How about a focus of:

I’ve done the best I know how to do.
I’m allowing my body to do the best it/she can do in this moment.
I do what I can do and leave the rest to Spirit/God/Universe.
No matter what happens, I’ll find a way to be a Mother.
I’m open to receiving the best outcome for this cycle.

See if there’s one of these that speaks to you — or if it inspires a thought of your own.

Your body knows your desire is to get pregnant and have a healthy baby at the end of nine months. Your job — from a Mind~Body perspective — is to find a way to have thoughts that match this desire.

Focusing on “I’m Pregnant” when you’ve had a lot of experience to prove it isn’t a certainty you are, now puts your thoughts in direct conflict with your desire. You find yourself resisting the thoughts you are thinking and not being able to get into the flow that was easier to find during the first part of your cycle.

You want to pick a thought that leaves you feeling open and connected with your body — not fighting it.

No matter where you are in your cycle right now, begin to think about what your best focus can be.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.