Entries tagged with “mind~body~spirit”.


Do you find yourself frustrated because a Mind~Body approach “doesn’t work”?

You’ve done it all. The relaxation. The affirmations. The visualizing. And you still don’t have your baby.

What’s the missing key?

Often, we make the decision that we’re the missing key — but in a negative way.

We are somehow broken, defective, or out of favor with the Divine (Spirit, God, Goddess). The Truth that we’ve cleverly hidden from the rest of the world is finally on view for all to see — we aren’t enough and the fact that there isn’t a baby is the final physical evidence.

All of these convoluted thoughts is one of the reasons infertility is so painful. Not only do you not have the child you want, but you use it as proof to beat yourself up.

The fact of the matter is, the key to allowing a Mind~Body~Spirit focus to bring you the baby you want is simpler than you think.

Consistency.

Each day we have somewhere in the neighborhood of 60,000 thoughts.

60,000 opportunities to take us to a Zen or stressful state of mind.
60,000 opportunities to put our bodies in a place of growth or fear.
60,000 opportunities to create a relax signal or a danger signal.

Depending on your choices, you are either placing your body in a state of alignment with fertility or with infertility.

Perfection is NOT required.

If you can take 51% of the opportunities to move toward peace, Zen, or growth, you are well on your way to creating an internal environment that is in alignment with fertility.

If you take 51% of the opportunities to surrender, let go, trust, open to receive, expect what you want, amplify your fertility, or play in the present moment (all pillars of Be-ing Fertile), you are well on your way to the consistency that will powerfully impact your fertility.

Is it simple? Perhaps.
Is it easy? No.

We have a life time of habits of thought that take us to feeling fear, worry, anxiety, and more.

So what do you do? Use all the Mind~Body~Spirit tools you possibly can:

Meditations
Yoga
Breathing Exercises
Guided Imagery
EFT (to release the patterns of thought that create fear, worry, anxiety)
Acupuncture

All of these will help you create a consistency of thought that will bring your Mind~Body~Spirit into harmony, build your Be-ing Fertile state of being, and align you with your baby.

Remember, I am asking you for consistency, not perfection. You do not need to be the master on the mountaintop to conceive.

I ask you to simply become aware of how you are directing your 60,000 thoughts each day and set the intention that 51% of them bring you towards Be-ing Fertile.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

As you are working to build your family, you have so many options as to how to improve your fertility.

One danger I see is people doing as many different modalities as possible while not paying attention to the “why” of the modality. In other words, “ticking” the box of doing that particular modality without truly integrating it in, so it has the possibility of doing what it was designed to do.

For example, including relaxation or visualization.

The whole point of doing relaxation and/or visualization is to stop the danger signals that are going on in your body. The Relaxation Response shifts the internal chemistry of your body, which in turn, supports, nurtures, and amplifies your fertility.

However, if you are doing the relaxation exercise and then following it up with chaotic days, continual angry, stressful, or anxious thoughts, or multi-tasking through the exercise, the results become null and void.

No judgment, but are you allowing the methods you are using to amplify your fertility, the ability to actually work?

Difficulty with infertility is your body telling you something is out of balance within your body (same as if someone has cancer, heart problems, or diabetes). What is your body telling you? What is your body truly asking for to shift that imbalance?

As humans, we resist change. We want what we want when we want it, without having to make any changes in our lives. I get it. I’m the same way.

You are here and part of the Anji community because you have interest in creating fertility within your body through a Mind~Body~Spirit approach.

If you are willing, I am going to suggest some questions to journal with or simply sit lightly on your consciousness to help you ease into an integration and/or commitment that will change your fertility.

  1. What kind of imbalance is my infertility reflecting to me? Is it in the area of the body, the mind, or the spirit?
  2. What is one step I can take today to bring myself more into Mind~Body~Spirit balance?
  3. What can shift in my life outside of fertility to match the new skills / thought patterns I am learning within my fertility quest?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

What does medical science have to say about the impact stress has on fertility and women who are dealing with infertility?

Research demonstrates the effects of stress are multilayered, including direct effects on the body and indirect effects on a person’s ability to copy and stay in treatment. If I included all the research, this newsletter would be more like the length of a doctoral dissertation. Let me review four of the studies.

In a study of women undergoing either IVF or GIFT procedures, researchers asked the question: Does stress affect fertility and pregnancy rates? The researchers looked at whether stress from a patient’s life situation or stress from the procedure negatively reduced the patient’s ability to achieve pregnancy or to have a live birth. The women were given questionnaires to rate their moods, feelings about infertility, expectation of achieving pregnancy, amount of social support, coping style, and overall stress levels. The questionnaires were completed at their first clinic visit, before and after hormone use, and before embryo transfer.

The results of this study found women who had higher expectations of achieving pregnancy and had less overall stress had a greater number of eggs retrieved and fertilized, a higher number of embryos to transfer, and a higher pregnancy rate as compared to the women who had a lower expectation of pregnancy and a higher rate of stress.

Another study looked at the impact of group psychological interventions on women who had been experiencing infertility for less than two years. This study found women who participated in a mind~body group were more likely to conceive as those who did not.

A third study looked at why women who carry insurance for IVF stop treatment before having a live birth. Thirty-seven percent of the respondents stated it was stress that stopped their participation. The main stressors reported were the impact on their relationships and feelings of anxiety and depression.

Finally, a study looked at the impact of a mind~body group on women, 40 or younger, going through their first IVF cycle. Fifty-two percent of the women participating in the group were successful, while only 20% of the control group became pregnant.

While research demonstrates a mind~body~spirit approach is not a magic pill that guarantees pregnancy, this type of approach, whether used on its own or in conjunction with a medical approach, improves the likelihood of pregnancy.

Possibly even more importantly, it lessens anxiety and depression and gives tangible coping skills for this very challenging life situation. Why do I say this is even more important that getting pregnant? You are able to return to yourself and make choices about treatment from your whole self, which means you make decisions you will be at peace with for the rest of your life.

Not only that, when you are successful, when you do bring your beautiful baby home, you will be able to be even more present and have the tools to help you with the myriad of emotions that come with being a new mother.

Whether you choose to use my products or services, or some other practitioner’s, I highly encourage you to bring this approach into your journey. Your body, mind, and spirit will be refreshed and help lay the foundation to bring you your baby.

Source

Domar AD1, Clapp D, Slawsby EA, Dusek J, Kessel B, Freizinger M. Impact of group psychological interventions on pregnancy rates in infertile women. Fertil Steril. 2000 Apr;73(4):805-11.

Domar AD1, Smith K, Conboy L, Iannone M, Alper M. A prospective investigation into the reasons why insured United States patients drop out of in vitro fertilization treatment. Fertil Steril. 2010 Sep;94(4):1457-9

Domar AD1, Rooney KL, Wiegand B, Orav EJ, Alper MM, Berger BM, Nikolovski J.
Impact of a group mind/body intervention on pregnancy rates in IVF patients. Fertil Steril. 2011 Jun;95(7):2269-73.

Klonoff-Cohen H, Chu E, Natarajan L, Seiber W. A prospective study of stress among women undergoing in vitro fertilitzation or gamete intrafallopian transfer. Fertility and Sterility 2001;76:675-687.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

A common thought in the Mind~Body~Spirit approach to conceiving is that it is helpful to “let go” or “surrender.” I have clients tell me all the time they think they need to surrender because there are so many stories of people “giving up” and then they get pregnant.

Surrendering or letting go is challenging because many people do believe they have to “give up” their desire for a baby.

I do teach surrender all the time with my clients, but here’s what I am asking them to surrender:

  • The constant monkey mind, which is always questioning and asking, “What do I do next?”
  • The attachment to needing a baby. What I mean by this is we often attach very specific meaning to having that baby. To some people it means they are no longer a failure, or have finally proved that they are enough. This creates mental tension. When you can embody the knowing that no matter what happens — baby or no baby — you are going to be okay. You move your entire physical body into a knowing of safety. This creates the emotional chemistry that allows your cells to be in growth mode, which in turn supports your innate fertility.
  • The attachment to how the baby comes. This often creates the most fear. I am not asking you to be comfortable with all avenues to creating a child. I am also not asking you to take any steps into any avenues that you aren’t ready to take (or may even need). However, when you place a limitation such as: I refuse to use medical intervention… or… I refuse to do IVF, etc., then you create a substantial amount of mental resistance, which takes a lot of energy to deflect. This draws down your available physical resources and creates the emotional chemistry that supports fear mode in your cells.

Attachment creates both emotional suffering and physiological changes within your body, which work against your fertility. Surrender is never asking you to give up your desire, simply your attachment to needing the baby to be happy.

Surrender is an evolution. Start today by becoming aware of what you are attaching to your desire to have a baby and how this baby comes to you. Take those questions softly and gently and see what arises.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Do you have a “Doing Addiction”?

I’ve recently re-started going to the gym in the early morning hours. Each time I’ve gone, the same woman has been present both when I start my exercise and when I leave. She runs flat out on the treadmill, reads a magazine, and has ear buds in so she can watch the morning news.

She is a perfect example of how many of us run our lives: doing as much as we can with each moment.

While I have nothing against being productive, the desire to DO in each moment can end up becoming an addiction to the rush of cortisol and adrenaline. Neither of these hormones is friendly to your fertility over the long term. Breaking the habit of cortisol and adrenaline can be as challenging as trying to stop eating sugar or drinking your caffeinated beverage of choice.

If you are experiencing unexplained infertility, or if your fertility treatments have not been as successful as they “should” be, I highly recommend learning to balance your doing with being.

Being is not about sitting on a mountain top meditating while giving everything up but the clothes on your back. Being is not about giving up your desire to have your child.

Being is about creating places of quiet in your life. Being is about allowing peace in your body. Being is about trusting that no matter what happens, you are going to be a Mother and therefore you can feel peace and expectation in this moment, before you have any evidence of a baby.

To discover if you have a “Doing Addiction,” consider the following questions:

  1. When in your life do you allow yourself to be in a space of quiet? (Does your phone accompany you into the restroom? Do you always have the radio or TV on? When you are walking/running/exercising, do have your attention on something else as well?)
  2. What is your relationship with your to-do list? Is it always on your mind? Are you always adding to it?
  3. Do you always feel ‘behind’ and as if you have to catch up with everyone else?
  4. Do you feel guilty if you “just sit”?

If you find you are trending towards having a “Doing Addiction,” I invite you to plan a time of quiet into your daily life. Start small. Start with five minutes. Those minutes may feel like torture but the more you allow yourself peace throughout the day, the more you will lessen the effects on your fertility of constant adrenaline and cortisol.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Several years ago, I worked with a colleague who joked about how her fertility approach was starting to mirror her original approach to finding the right partner. She shared how she and her friends would laugh about how the right partner would only come when they weren’t looking… and spend their dinners out together trying to catch one of the others looking over their shoulders “just in case he was passing by.”

A Mind~Body~Spirit approach to fertility asks you to build your belief and expectation that your baby is on its way to you before you have any physical evidence this is true. In fact, I ask my clients to stop looking at the physical evidence (in essence asking them to stop looking over their shoulders to see if anything has changed).

A Mind~Body~Spirit approach is not generally a quick fix. The first evidence you are making a change shows up as feeling better emotionally and/or feeling more connected with your own divinity or understanding of how this fertility journey fits into the overall pattern of your life.

When you are constantly evaluating and asking, “Is this working,” it negates some of the Mind and Spirit shifts. This kind of question takes you out of trust and triggers the stress response in the body.

So, how do you make sure you are “doing” the approach correctly?

Here are a few guidelines:

  1. Ease all or nothing thinking.

    Of course the goal is to have your baby. At the same time, your body gives you signals it is shifting toward fertility. These signals can look like: your cycle shifting back towards “normal,” less stress, better sleep, less PMS, etc. See all of these signs as a signal you are building momentum towards the baby you want. Allow your momentum to build as opposed to judging a method negatively because it didn’t create a baby the first month.

  2. Ease up on the “why” questions.

    At first glance, “why” questions seem important. After all, if you can answer the “why” then you will most likely know the “how.” Yet, with fertility, this often isn’t the case. Either you are “un-explained” or you know there are certain issues with egg and sperm, but what should be the “how” doesn’t always yield a baby.

    Notice how often you are shifting into the “why” questions: why is this happening, why me, why is this taking so long, why isn’t this working?

    Why questions turn your attention to the past and base your momentum on past conditions (infertility) rather than the condition you want (a baby). Begin to be conscious of how often you are asking “why” questions. When one comes up, use it as a reminder to take a full, deep breath and bring yourself back into the present moment.

  3. Be willing to use emotional shifts as evidence you are making progress to your baby.

    This is often a really big shift to make because we are not used to emotions being anything other than something that makes us feel good or bad. In fact many people push away emotions.

    Your emotions are your key to how your body is functioning. This is a simplification, but — if you feel good, you are allowing your body to be in full functioning mode. If you feel bad, your body is receiving signals to start a stress response and shut down all but essential actions in your cells.

    Put your focus on being willing to a) Make the emotional shift (even feeling neutral rather than stressed is better for your body, and b) Celebrate the progress you are making towards your baby.

As you ease yourself through the ease of these steps, you will find yourself stepping more confidently into a feeling-state of hope, expectation and belief. These feeling-states will propel you forward towards your baby.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

If you were to add up the thoughts you think during any given day, do you think the average would be more about what you want or what you don’t want?

If you are thinking about what you want, do you find you are thinking those thoughts from a place of expectation or yearning?

If you can hold your thoughts of what you want from a place of expectation for at least 51% of the time, you are creating momentum towards what you want. Any percentage above 51%, you are accelerating your momentum.

I’m hopeful you truly absorbed the 51%. What this means is: you don’t have to be perfect in your thoughts. You simply have to be intentional.

How do you hold thoughts of what you want when you’ve been trying to have a baby for so long?

Allow your emotions to lead the way.

Let me give you an example.

How will having a baby make you feel? Happy? Relieved? Ecstatic? Maternal? Joyful?

Once you have your feeling state identified, set an intention each morning to create this emotional state throughout the day. This intention sets the ball rolling within your subconscious to bring evidence to your conscious mind that will support your intention.

You’ll begin to be aware of all the events happening within your day-to-day life that already bring you this emotion. As you build your experience of the emotion, you will build your expectation that you will continue to have more experiences with that emotion.

As your expectation builds, two extraordinary changes happen. First, you create a cascade of physiological changes within your body that support fertility. Second, you shift your ability to receive your desires from the universe.

Ready to set your intention?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

One of the most challenging aspects of taking a Be-ing approach to your fertility is knowing when to shift into Do-ing. To be able to make this shift easily, you must first understand about the energy you carry within your body.

The state of Be-ing is governed by the feminine aspect of our divinity.

Each of us is a blend of divine feminine and divine masculine. Typically, the feminine is about receiving and the masculine is about doing. But I want to share something deeper about the feminine.

The feminine carries both Yin and Yang energy.

Yin is the more traditional feminine that we think of: nurturing, gentle, allowing, being. This is the uterus, the womb that receives the embryo, and gestates the baby.

This same womb also births the baby. In Divine right timing. This is the Yang feminine energy. The part of you that will know when it is right timing for you to act.

To know when to shift from Be-ing to Do-ing, you must:

  1. Trust you have both halves of the feminine within you. We have learned to listen to everything that is outside of ourselves: deadlines, other people’s timelines, how we think life should unfold. We have forgotten the art of listening to ourselves.
  2. Remember Be-ing IS a Do-ing step. Allowing yourself the peace, time, and quiet is as much of an action step as taking hormones, or going to yoga. Our culture has cast this type of action as at best “relaxing” or at worst, “lazy.”
  3. Build your connection with your inner being. The more you build this connection, the more you will hear its soft voice from within.
  4. Connect first. If you have a decision to make, connect with your inner being, your inner divinity. Then think about the decision. How does your body feel? What messages are you getting?
  5. Trust your intuitive hits — both fertility and non-fertility related. The more you listen and act, the more you will hear.
  6. If something doesn’t feel right, stop.

Most importantly, when you act, do it from your whole being. Meaning, don’t do it but also worry about whether it is the right time, or if you are going to make a mistake, etc. Be in complete alignment with whatever decision you make and every action you take.

The more you practice, the easier it will become to know when it is time to transition between Be-ing and Do-ing.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Just last week I had a conversation with a community member who was anxious because she wasn’t able to keep positive thoughts about the outcome of her cycle all the time. Her fear was if she wasn’t able to keep those thoughts going, her cycle would end up failing.

In other words, thinking positive was the step that would *make* a pregnancy happen.

Depending on who you are, you might substitute any other action step: the right doctor, the right Chinese Medicine practitioner, the right diet, the right amount of sleep, the right amount of meditation, etc. Get the wrong formula and you won’t *make* the pregnancy happen.

It is not your job to make a pregnancy happen.

It is your job to receive a pregnancy.

Your job is to be in alignment with the state of being that allows pregnancy. When you use meditation, relaxation, yoga, nature hikes, acupuncture, herbs, nutrition, and yes, even assisted reproduction, you are putting your body into the being state to receive a pregnancy.

So, in any given moment, you get to ask yourself, “Is what I am thinking/feeling in alignment with receiving a pregnancy?”

You will know the answer is ‘yes’ if how you are thinking/feeling matches with how you would think and feel when the baby is present. If you will feel joyful when a baby is present, then feeling joyful is your job. When you are feeling joyful, then you are in receiving mode. If you’re not sure, then simply go with feeling “good.”

What’s really powerful about being in the receiving mode is that the steps to take to receive your baby unfold with ease and clarity.

This is so different than so many of the messages we’ve gotten about how to “go after” what we want: Work hard. No pain, no gain. Fight for what you want. Make it happen. Fertility simply doesn’t respond well to these kinds of concepts.

Take a moment and notice the difference between going to acupuncture because that is THE step that will MAKE a baby happen for you… and going to acupuncture because it helps you feel good in body~mind~spirit, and feeling good puts you in alignment with a baby.

The difference may feel subtle to you; however, I assure you the difference is powerful. Take a breath and release the heavy responsibility of *making* a pregnancy happen and instead, allow yourself to shift into receiving mode. Your baby is there.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

I have spoken with a number of clients this past week who have told me they feel like they are at their breaking point. Life, including fertility struggles, has pushed them to their edges and part of them is terrified they may shatter into too many pieces to ever be whole again.

When you are in this emotional space, the mind~body~spirit tenet “how you feel matters to your fertility” can feel like a slap in the face and simply one more reason to completely fall apart.

However, this emotional space can actually be the greatest gift to your fertility.

Why do I say this? When you are in this space, it is tempting to call yourself “broken.” I would argue you are “cracked open.” In this space, the thoughts and beliefs which support your most negative thought habits and patterns are right there, right at the surface.

These negative thought patterns and habits are typically buried deep within your psyche, creating internal stress and conflict and triggering the type of fight-or-flight response, which is so detrimental to your body. The reason it is so detrimental is because it is constantly running in the background — kind of like how having the dome light on inside your car overnight drains your car battery.

When you find yourself “cracked open,” here’s what you can do to find these beliefs.

Spend some time journaling. Write down exactly what you are feeling. Let yourself be your most whiney, honest, angry self. Let those words simply fly out onto the paper. Then, read back over what you’ve written. What are the themes?

Usually the themes boil down to: I’m not enough, I don’t deserve what I want, life isn’t fair, I’m not safe, etc.

Once you know your theme, now you can begin to build new thought patterns and habits to support the opposite. As the new patterns become habit, you support your body and your fertility from the inside out.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.