Anji Blog

Emotions. Dealing with fertility issues creates so many emotions.

These emotions can wreck havoc with your desire to stay focused on what you want. Sometimes you know exactly why you’re feeling how you’re feeling; other times, emotions can just feel like a knot or a block, and you don’t know why you’re feeling that way.

At times like these, I like to use a breathing technique.

You can use your breath to help clear away your thoughts, or interrupt a downward spiral of emotion. Breathing techniques are wonderful because you can use them anytime, anywhere.

Try these breathing patterns to help you let go of whatever you are feeling and create the space you need to start on a different feeling path.

1. Breathe in for a count of (4), hold your breath for a count of (8), and then blow out for a count of (7).
2. Breathe in for a count of (4), hold your breath for a count of (16), and blow out for a count of (8).

Choose one of the patterns and do each cycle (3) times. As you are holding your breath, imagine your breath is reaching in and grabbing onto whatever you don’t want in your mind or your body, then you can blow it all away on your out breath.

How do you feel when you are finished?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

A very common reaction when you begin learning how your thoughts and emotions affect your fertility is to say, “You mean you’re telling me it’s all my fault? It’s all my fault that my health or my life isn’t the way I want?”

From there it is so easy to slip into feeling guilty and shameful (“How could I have let myself think like this?” or “Why didn’t I know this sooner?”), or to begin to slip into anger at being blamed. “Why in the world would I ever choose to have fertility issues?” “What series of thoughts or beliefs would I ever choose to have that would lead to miscarriage or loss?”

Here’s the thing: it’s not a conscious choice. Of course, you would never consciously choose these outcomes, these challenges. Your web of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs (dating back to your experiences as a very young child) affects your fertility at a subconscious level.

Mind~Body connection does NOT mean you are consciously choosing to have difficulty conceiving. There’s absolutely no blame; simply an opportunity to learn how to positively affect your fertility now you are aware of factors that used to be outside of your control.

Mind~Body connection does NOT mean you are causing fertility issues because of not being able to handle life’s everyday ups and downs. It’s not as simple as just relaxing more.

That doesn’t change the fact, though, that feeling blamed is the number one reason why people leave Mind~Body information behind.

Mind~Body work is about realizing the power of your thoughts and beliefs, and choosing to take responsibility for your own thoughts and emotions from this point forward.

It is about looking at your underlying thoughts and beliefs to see what is creating the dis-ease in your day-to-day life. Then once you have that knowledge, learning how to use that same connection to create the emotional and physical health you want.

But responsibility is NOT about judging your thoughts and emotions by assigning fault, blame, shame. Or, allowing someone else to judge you and invalidate your feelings and experiences because it’s “your fault. “In fact, all of these work against the very goal you are working to achieve.

Though, so many of us were raised to believe creating shameful thoughts about ourselves would motivate us to do more, to achieve more. However, motivation through shame leaves behind scars that create even more physical or emotional dis-ease.

Mind~Body work is about learning to look at this unconscious web of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, and take responsibility for your emotions now that you know how they can affect your fertility. This means you don’t have to feel like a victim anymore. There are concrete steps you can take to creating the physical and emotional health you desire. How empowering is that?

I want to leave you with this idea: The fertility you have today is in part a product of your thoughts and emotions from yesterday. What you think about and experience today creates your fertility of tomorrow. Are you ready?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“Come out of the circle of time and into the circle of love.” —Rumi

The long term benefits to your fertility of a mind~body relaxation practice are numerous but not only your fertility benefits.

When you begin a relaxation or meditative practice, it guides you to create a completely separate space in your life. It is about stepping out of the day-to-day life and into a space that is serene, quiet and full of love: love for yourself, love for your body, and love for others in your life.

This place creates separation from whatever else is going on in your day-to-day world. In this place, you don’t have to say, “But everything is so hard in my life, how can I relax?” You get a chance to create, if you will, a completely new space with different rules and guidelines.

As you find it easier to create this place on your own, you will find the feelings spilling out and over into your daily life. Eventually the two pieces will merge — but they don’t have to at the beginning. So, there is no need to worry when at first you feel like you are able to create a 10-15 minute haven and then feel as if you are right back in the thick of things once you leave that haven. Keep practicing and it will get easier! Keep practicing and your fertility will be enhanced.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

I think that letting go is something that happens in waves, or in maybe layers is a better word. We have so many hopes, dreams, and emotions wrapped up in each part of us that we want to release, it almost has to happen in stages. Give yourself permission to let go of whatever piece you can today and know that tomorrow a little bit more will go and the next day a bit more…

Imagery for letting go in stages:

Imagine your mind and body is wrapped around whatever you wish to release as tightly as a new bud on a rose bush. This bud is completely wrapped with the green outer petals still tightly furled. It is so tightly furled that the true shape of the bud is still distorted. What would happen if those first leaves never released? What if the flower yet to be just stayed tightly curled around its core? How much energy is it taking just to be trying to hold so tightly to this position? Imagine your mind and body is slowly deciding to loosen, just a bit. Perhaps, even loosening seems scary, so they decide just not to hold on so hard, so the first decision is to release the muscles that are working so hard to hang on. Then, when you are ready, imagine that your mind and body are slowing unfurling from this issue, gently opening and releasing, and opening and releasing, slowly showing more and more of what’s inside, exposing the color, shape, and beauty of the flower within. Gently, and at your own pace, opening to new possibilities.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

When you aren’t receiving something that you’ve been working so hard to achieve, one of the aspects that can be “off” in your psyche is the concept of what it means to “want.”

Is it okay to “want”?

Do we all really deserve what we want?

Is it fair to say that everyone who “wants” a baby should receive one?

Many spiritual traditions and let’s face it, many parents and society in general, instill in us the message: it’s not okay to want. It’s selfish to want. You don’t always get what you want. Don’t get your hopes up.

But is it really true?

In my Spiritual journey, I’ve learned something completely to the opposite: wanting is what helps your soul evolve. As you develop new wants and allow yourself to align with them, you are developing and growing not just yourself, but the world as a whole.

These types of wants range from material to the esoteric.

Wants are driving your growth and what you are receiving. You’re literally wired to want.

“But, Jennifer,” you say, “I’ve wanted a baby for a long time now, why aren’t I receiving what I want?”

Sometimes it takes a while for wants to manifest in physical form. As humans, we like to give meaning, so we create beliefs about the fact that the baby isn’t present yet: “I must not deserve this.” Or, “I’m not good enough to deserve this.” Or, any other combination or permutation of those messages.

Here’s what I want you to realize: when you make a decision like that, you are literally working against your self and your soul. When you carry these beliefs deep within your system, the Universe is going to bring more experiences that match this belief.

You are setting up beliefs that make it even harder to get what you want. This, of course, tends to seem to prove the belief.

The place to start is knowing: “I deserve what I want. I choose to receive what I want.”

What other beliefs about wanting are you now ready to release?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

As humans, we crave meaning. We need to know WHY something is happening. Perhaps it’s the thought that if we know the “why,” we’ll know the “how” to solve the issue that fuels the search.

Sometimes, though, the unresolved search for meaning leads to considerable stress and leads us to ask questions that are even more difficult to answer. Because they are difficult to answer, we often “make up” our own meanings that come more from our wounded self than from Truth.

A question that often comes up when I speak to clients is: “Is it possible that I’m just not supposed to have children? Maybe God doesn’t want me to have children?” Sometimes clients have already decided they are being punished by God. Or simply, children aren’t part of their life purpose.

If this is something you have been thinking about, here’s my suggestion.

When you are dealing with an issue as charged as infertility or loss, it is easy for the hurt part of your mind to give you an answer that isn’t true.

To get a true answer, schedule a time when you can go somewhere very quiet and a place that you feel most connected with your higher power. Spend several minutes just breathing. Allow yourself to come into this present moment. Then, in whatever way feels most comfortable and authentic, connect with your higher power.

When you feel the connection, ask the question: are children part of my life path?

Notice the impulses and intuition that you receive.

Connecting and asking the question from a quiet and centered space is the only way to get a clear answer. This allows you to get an answer that is not from your conscious mind or the part of you that has been hurt over and over.

No matter what your question, this process will help you receive answers; and you will stay out of the negative downward stress spiral that comes when the hurt part of you is trying desperately to answer the question.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Question: “I have listened to relaxation/mindfulness CDs. I find the effects are not long lasting. Stress is alleviated for a short while, but returns rather quickly. What am I missing?”

Answer: Great question! It takes time to use the relaxation CDs, if they aren’t helpful long term, what’s the point of scheduling in the time? There are several points that I would like to share:

First: when you include relaxation or mindfulness CDs into your regular routine, you are making changes in how your body handles stress at the cellular level. It is as if you are putting a layer of Saran Wrap over the tops of the cells that listen for stress signals in your body.

This means when situations arise in your life that would typically cause you to feel stress in your body, the cells won’t react and therefore you won’t feel as anxious, tense, sore, headache-y, or with your specific stress signal.

Here’s the catch though. In order to get these lasting physiological effects, you need to be using the relaxation technique on a regular basis for about two weeks.

You will feel that short-term relief immediately upon listening — the deeper effects take longer.

Second: Stress is a catchall phrase for many different emotions: anger, frustration, sadness, fear, grief, hopelessness. These emotions are present in daily life for many reasons. Simply doing a relaxation exercise everyday isn’t going to change those reasons.

A relaxation exercise doesn’t change that you have been trying for a baby for two years, or that you are worried about your finances, or that you are still grieving over your last miscarriage.

It will change the intensity of the emotions, but the thoughts and beliefs that create the emotions will still be firmly entrenched.

In my opinion, the relaxation CD is simply the first step of feeling better. This is a very important step because it helps to quiet the body, which makes it a lot easier to hear what is really causing the emotion.

The second step is identifying and releasing the thoughts and beliefs, which are creating the stressful thoughts in the first place. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is an invaluable tool for creating changes in your thoughts and beliefs.

So, when you combine the regularity of a relaxation CD with releasing the thoughts and beliefs that cause stressful feelings, you end with a powerful combination that can change your day to day life experience as well as enhance your natural fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”
— Victor Frankel

It is simply human nature to try our “known” solutions before doing something else. It’s not that we only want an easy solution; it’s more about: how can you try something you don’t know about?

And yet, when a big problem persists, it’s time to find out what you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Mind~Body~Spirit solutions for fertility issues typically fall into the “didn’t know you didn’t know” category. Taking on a M~B~S view of fertility requires moving from believing that doctors and medical science have ALL the answers to uncovering your own role in your health.

You have probably made steps to taking care of your own health in the areas of diet and exercise before. However, what about listening to the deeper messages from your body?

Here’s something to think about: In addition to being painful, excruciatingly frustrating, depressing, sad and (add your current emotion here), infertility is also a message to you from your body.

A message that energy is blocked somewhere in your body. A message that your body is trying to get your attention in the only way it knows how. A message that when you really hear it; will tell you what to do to heal.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. in Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom puts this very eloquently: “Every thought we think has a biochemical equivalent. Every emotion we feel has a biochemical equivalent. One of my colleagues says, ‘The mind is the space between the cells.’ So when the part of your mind that is your uterus talks to you, through pain or excessive bleeding, are you prepared to listen to it?”

This can be quite a challenge to get your mind wrapped around. We typically aren’t taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to cover up symptoms with Tylenol or Tums. We’re taught to push through our body’s pain. Not with malicious intent — but from a disconnected understanding of how the body works.

I invite you to begin to step up to this new challenge to change yourself. Begin to start thinking of all of the physical symptoms in your body — painful periods, short luteal phases, muscle pain, headaches, and digestive issues — as messages from your body.

You’ll be amazed at what you hear once you start listening.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

When there is something you want — but don’t have yet — you can end up focusing so hard on what you don’t have that there isn’t any space left to allow in what you do want.

"If I just hold on a little harder, work a little harder, I’ll receive what I want."

This is what we’re all taught, right? If I am just "good enough" or if I "sacrifice enough" I’ll prove to whomever makes the rules that I should really have what I want.

In truth, you just get more and more, and more closed, and hurt and tired as you make your grip tighter and tighter onto the thought that you don’t have what you want. Your heart and your body close down and you retreat from the world around you.

NOT the path to getting what you want — particularly fertility. Fertility is about openness, nurturing, nourishment.

As difficult as it sounds, begin to release your grip on those "don’t have" thoughts. Allow yourself to become more open and you will find yourself opening up to receive what you want.

But, being closed helps to keep the pain away and keep you safe, right? On the surface, it feels like this is true, and yet, being closed cuts everything off.

Think of having a deep cut on your arm. Initially, putting a tourniquet above the cut keeps the blood from spilling out. But, if you left that tourniquet in place for too long, there would be no nutrients or oxygen coming to that part of your arm and eventually, it would die.

Taking the first step to opening is often the hardest. Here is an energy technique to help ease the fear:

Place your right hand on your right temple, and your left hand on your left temple. Begin to gently tap on the bone. Staying on the bone, tap up and over your ears. While you are tapping, say out loud, "It is safe to open back up. I am ready to open back up." Repeat 5 times.

Now consider this: how can I open up to my FERTILITY instead of closing down because of my INFERTTILITY?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

In the business world, days are structured with meetings, projects, and deadlines. Without structure, days would be chaotic and unproductive.

The same is true for your emotions and feelings.

When you don’t consider how you would like to feel, your emotions and feelings can be chaotic and lead you to many unproductive places. Paying attention to your feelings and emotions is important to your reproductive system.

While no one can be positive 100% or probably even 80% of the time, particularly when dealing with a challenging situation like fertility issues, knowing how to bring your emotions back to a neutral or positive place makes a positive impact on your fertility.

When you are consistently feeling stressed, upset, angry, frustrated, you are triggering the fight or flight stress response in your body, which wrecks havoc with your entire reproductive system.

One way to help shift your thoughts and feelings is to create a strong framework by setting an intention about how you want to feel before launching into the day.

For example, when you get up in the morning, as you are getting ready for the day, decide how you would like to feel today — peaceful, joyful, calm, accepting, curious, centered, exuberant, etc. Once you have decided what you would like to have as your primary emotion today, set your intention that your day will be filled with this emotion.

As you practice this on a regular basis, you will be surprised by how your days begin to follow your intentions.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.