Entries tagged with “feelings”.


Let me start by saying: You do not have to visualize in order to become pregnant. You only want to include tools that get you:

  1. To a better feeling place (because that’s when your body has the optimal environment to support reproduction).
  2. To move to a place of belief that you will receive what you want.

Visualization is an incredibly powerful tool to do both. However, when you have been trying to get pregnant for a long time, the built up history and emotions can make it hard to achieve either of these.

In reality, using visualization can lead you to end up feeling sadder than before. So you stop using the tool, because after all, you aren’t achieving either #1 or #2, why continue?

When you feel sad, the typical reaction is to stop thinking about whatever you are thinking about and of course, why wouldn’t you? However, if you can stay with the emotion for just a bit, you’ll be able to receive some information that will help you uncover underlying patterns that are creating the sadness and might also be impacting your fertility.

When you are feeling sad, you could be bumping up into one of the following thought patterns:

  1. You are focusing hard on the HOW and WHEN your pregnancy will happen. (“I can’t do this much longer; I only have resources for one IVF, it HAS to happen now; I’m running out of time; my chances are only going down each month.”)
  2. Part of you doesn’t really believe you can have what you want.
  3. You are time traveling into the past or the future.
  4. You are creating the reasons why you aren’t pregnant yet (don’t deserve, not enough, etc.) that the wise, connected part of you won’t believe and so you end up separating from your inner wisdom, which creates more sadness.
  5. Your personal thought pattern.

The key is to be curious about what thoughts are creating your sadness.

Once you know the thought pattern, now you can start shifting the pattern. One tool I love for this is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). You can read more about it here.

Most of us try to deal with sadness by pushing it away or avoiding the external source. If you can stay curious, the powerful emotion of sadness will share a lot with you, which ultimately can shift the underlying beliefs that may even be affecting your fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

When you are feeling sad or anxious, or any other negative emotion because of what’s happening with your fertility, those feelings are created from two different sources.

First, the very obvious: it’s painful to constantly seek something that keeps not happening. It’s heart wrenching to not have your baby yet.

Second, the not as obvious: what you believe about yourself because you don’t yet have a baby.

While dealing with the first is important, healing those emotions tends to be short lasting unless you also heal the second. Kind of like putting a Band-Aid over a broken bone; the support will help it feel better for a while, but anytime something moves the Band-Aid, the pain will come right back.

Let me give you an example.

In my work with clients this week, the same theme has come up in many conversations:

“I’m afraid if I don’t ever have a baby I’m going to end up being a bitter old woman.”

When this fear is running in the back of your mind, anytime something negative happens in relationship to building your family, not only do you feel emotion because of the present situation, you also feel the pain of the fear that you are going to be a bitter old woman. All emotions in the present become magnified.

Using a Mind~Body approach, you can uncover these underlying thoughts and beliefs, which fuel emotions of your present time experiences. As you heal the underlying thoughts and beliefs, you have more peace in your body, less underlying conflict, which touches off the fight or flight response, and gives you more resources to handle the daily ups and downs of building your family.

If you are willing, I invite you to take a couple of minutes and either write this question in a journal or let it sit lightly in your consciousness and see what arises:

What do I believe about myself because of the challenge I’ve had creating my family?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Emotions. Dealing with fertility issues creates so many emotions.

These emotions can wreck havoc with your desire to stay focused on what you want. Sometimes you know exactly why you’re feeling how you’re feeling; other times, emotions can just feel like a knot or a block, and you don’t know why you’re feeling that way.

At times like these, I like to use a breathing technique.

You can use your breath to help clear away your thoughts, or interrupt a downward spiral of emotion. Breathing techniques are wonderful because you can use them anytime, anywhere.

Try these breathing patterns to help you let go of whatever you are feeling and create the space you need to start on a different feeling path.

  1. Breathe in for a count of (4), hold your breath for a count of (8), and then blow out for a count of (7).
  2. Breathe in for a count of (4), hold your breath for a count of (16), and blow out for a count of (8).

Choose one of the patterns and do each cycle (3) times. As you are holding your breath, imagine your breath is reaching in and grabbing onto whatever you don’t want in your mind or your body, then you can blow it all away on your out breath.

How do you feel when you are finished?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

I think that letting go is something that happens in waves, or in maybe layers is a better word. We have so many hopes, dreams, and emotions wrapped up in each part of us that we want to release, it almost has to happen in stages. Give yourself permission to let go of whatever piece you can today and know that tomorrow a little bit more will go and the next day a bit more…

Imagery for letting go in stages:

Imagine your mind and body is wrapped around whatever you wish to release as tightly as a new bud on a rose bush. This bud is completely wrapped with the green outer petals still tightly furled. It is so tightly furled that the true shape of the bud is still distorted. What would happen if those first leaves never released? What if the flower yet to be just stayed tightly curled around its core? How much energy is it taking just to be trying to hold so tightly to this position? Imagine your mind and body is slowly deciding to loosen, just a bit. Perhaps, even loosening seems scary, so they decide just not to hold on so hard, so the first decision is to release the muscles that are working so hard to hang on. Then, when you are ready, imagine that your mind and body are slowing unfurling from this issue, gently opening and releasing, and opening and releasing, slowly showing more and more of what’s inside, exposing the color, shape, and beauty of the flower within. Gently, and at your own pace, opening to new possibilities.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

We all want it at one time or another. THE answer. THE technique. THE “thing” to DO that will give you what you want. THE “thing” you can just DO—preferably, once —that will ease the pain once and for all that will immediately provide the results.

How many times, as you have tried to conceive your family, have you closed your eyes and wished or prayed for “the answer.” “Just TELL me what to do and I’ll DO it. I just need to know what to DO.”

In reality, though, this is a trap. Actually, it’s two traps.

Trap #1: If it isn’t big, it isn’t enough.

This is a trap because it keeps you from seeing the small changes you could make that together add up to the big result. You keep waiting for the big “thing” to do and ignore the other small messages your body is giving you.

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

Small seems too easy. Small seems insignificant. Small feels like you aren’t really trying. If there was something small that could really affect your fertility, everyone would be doing it by now.

This leads directly into trap #2.

Trap #2: DOING something external is more important than BEING something internally.

Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on physical action. Emotions and feelings are something that are “nice” to change, but not really important.

In your body, you can’t get further from the truth.

Your cells are always listening to your emotions and your feelings. Your emotions create the cellular environment that determines what aspect of your DNA is switched on or off. This same environment causes your cells to be either in growth mode or in protection/fear mode.

Your emotions and your feelings are a vital part of your fertility. They are a vital part of aging. They are a vital part of every aspect of your health.

“THE” Answer

Pay attention to the thoughts, emotions, and feelings that are swirling in your body. What can you DO today that will help shift those thoughts, emotions, and feelings that help you move from sadness, fear, anxiety, to a more neutral or positive state of mind?

What small shift in thinking will help with this? You don’t need to shift from feeling deep sadness or worry immediately to being a “Pollyanna” about your fertility. However, what is something small that you can change in your thoughts that will bring a sense of relief?

As you experience a small sense of relief here, and then another small sense of relief, and then yet another, you’ll begin to find it gets easier and easier. You’ll find you no longer have to work at it, the shifting will happen on it’s own. How different would day-to-day life be? How different would your cells be acting throughout your body? What impact could you make on your fertility?

You’ll notice I did use the word DO. Physical action is an important part—you won’t get pregnant simply by sitting and feeling good. However, as you make your small shifts in thought, you’ll be more drawn to the types of physical changes that will help you discover the best path to your family.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

First the “scary” news: A research study done with women who were going through IVF showed the women who were more optimistic and hopeful had more eggs and went on to have more live births than women who were the least optimistic.

I say this is scary simply because fertility is filled with plenty of emotions. How can anyone be optimistic and positive ALL the time?

However, because of the way your body’s stress response wrecks havoc on your reproductive system and because your body does have a way to set up “no’s” to conception, it is important to deal with your emotions.

I believe that there are two important skills to have.

The first is to be congruent with your feelings and emotions. This means what you are feeling…you are saying. So you aren’t saying on the outside, “I’m fine, I’m POSITIVE, I’m happy,” and on the inside you are really feeling scared, panicked, and anxious. Your body doesn’t have any idea what to do with this. This sets up a stress response in your body that’s even stronger than just having the emotion. Plus, you never get a chance to work out why you are feeling that way and get yourself to feeling better.

Second, you need to learn to create a place of peace inside your body no matter what is going on around you.

Now, this doesn’t mean you will feel peaceful all the time. You are going to have emotions come up on a daily basis. Instead of having the goal to feel peaceful at all times, you want to be able to learn to have the emotions, deal with them, and then be able to re-find your place of peace.

Re-finding your place of peace allows your body to shut off your biological stress response that can be so detrimental to all the systems of your body when it runs long term. An ongoing stress response in your body will have detrimental effects on your reproductive system.

Re-finding your place of peace gives your body and mind a rest and a break. It also allows you to be able to make decisions from a more centered perspective.

So, in your toolbox you want to have tools that allow you to create both physical and emotional peace.

One of the biggest actions you can do to stay AWAY from peace is to push against your feelings and emotions. Now, this may seem like I am telling you to do two different things: find peace AND feel your emotions.

However, what you want to do first is to OWN your feelings. If you are angry — be angry. If you are sad — be sad. Trying to push away emotions, or cover them up, only intensifies them and makes them come out in ways you don’t want.

What I think feels so difficult about doing this is that we think that mind~body medicine means we “shouldn’t” be angry; we should be feeling “positive”.

You begin to think: If I want to get pregnant, I can’t feel sad, I must feel hopeful. If I want to get pregnant, I “should” be able to get through the two WW with ease and without any stress. All of these “shoulds” and “musts” end up creating more stress, more pressure, and more worry.

NOT the goal!

Instead:

  1. In the moment, reach for the best thought you currently can have. If that means anger is the best you can do right now, great. That is actually a lot higher on the emotional scale than depression. Then, as you keep having thoughts, reach for a thought that is just a little bit less angry, and a little bit less angry, and then a little bit less angry. Perhaps then, you will be able to move your thoughts up from anger to discouragement. While this seems like exchanging one “negative” emotion for another, feeling discouraged is actually higher up on a scale of emotions where Powerlessness is at the bottom and Joy is at the top.

    Check it out for yourself. How does the experience of anger feel in your body versus the experience of feeling discouraged?

    This is just an example. The main point, again, is to reach for the best thought you can in the moment and then cut yourself a break. You ARE doing the best you can. Releasing the “shoulds” and “musts” are a huge step in finding your way to your place of peace.

  2. Begin to create your place of peace. What activities allow you to slip away from the day-to-day world? Reading a great book? Taking a walk outside? While these sound like your typically “just relax” activities, it is important to incorporate these into your daily routine. These activities allow your body to find a resting point.

I’ve given you a lot to think about in this month’s newsletter. Here’s the “take away” message: allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Then, everyday do something or give yourself the time to slip into a more peaceful space. When you do both of these, you will be well on your way to feeling more positive and having your reproductive system in much better balance for conceiving.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.