Entries tagged with “fearful thoughts”.


Just last week I had a conversation with a community member who was anxious because she wasn’t able to keep positive thoughts about the outcome of her cycle all the time. Her fear was if she wasn’t able to keep those thoughts going, her cycle would end up failing.

In other words, thinking positive was the step that would *make* a pregnancy happen.

Depending on who you are, you might substitute any other action step: the right doctor, the right Chinese Medicine practitioner, the right diet, the right amount of sleep, the right amount of meditation, etc. Get the wrong formula and you won’t *make* the pregnancy happen.

It is not your job to make a pregnancy happen.

It is your job to receive a pregnancy.

Your job is to be in alignment with the state of being that allows pregnancy. When you use meditation, relaxation, yoga, nature hikes, acupuncture, herbs, nutrition, and yes, even assisted reproduction, you are putting your body into the being state to receive a pregnancy.

So, in any given moment, you get to ask yourself, “Is what I am thinking/feeling in alignment with receiving a pregnancy?”

You will know the answer is ‘yes’ if how you are thinking/feeling matches with how you would think and feel when the baby is present. If you will feel joyful when a baby is present, then feeling joyful is your job. When you are feeling joyful, then you are in receiving mode. If you’re not sure, then simply go with feeling “good.”

What’s really powerful about being in the receiving mode is that the steps to take to receive your baby unfold with ease and clarity.

This is so different than so many of the messages we’ve gotten about how to “go after” what we want: Work hard. No pain, no gain. Fight for what you want. Make it happen. Fertility simply doesn’t respond well to these kinds of concepts.

Take a moment and notice the difference between going to acupuncture because that is THE step that will MAKE a baby happen for you… and going to acupuncture because it helps you feel good in body~mind~spirit, and feeling good puts you in alignment with a baby.

The difference may feel subtle to you; however, I assure you the difference is powerful. Take a breath and release the heavy responsibility of *making* a pregnancy happen and instead, allow yourself to shift into receiving mode. Your baby is there.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

I have spoken with a number of clients this past week who have told me they feel like they are at their breaking point. Life, including fertility struggles, has pushed them to their edges and part of them is terrified they may shatter into too many pieces to ever be whole again.

When you are in this emotional space, the mind~body~spirit tenet “how you feel matters to your fertility” can feel like a slap in the face and simply one more reason to completely fall apart.

However, this emotional space can actually be the greatest gift to your fertility.

Why do I say this? When you are in this space, it is tempting to call yourself “broken.” I would argue you are “cracked open.” In this space, the thoughts and beliefs which support your most negative thought habits and patterns are right there, right at the surface.

These negative thought patterns and habits are typically buried deep within your psyche, creating internal stress and conflict and triggering the type of fight-or-flight response, which is so detrimental to your body. The reason it is so detrimental is because it is constantly running in the background — kind of like how having the dome light on inside your car overnight drains your car battery.

When you find yourself “cracked open,” here’s what you can do to find these beliefs.

Spend some time journaling. Write down exactly what you are feeling. Let yourself be your most whiney, honest, angry self. Let those words simply fly out onto the paper. Then, read back over what you’ve written. What are the themes?

Usually the themes boil down to: I’m not enough, I don’t deserve what I want, life isn’t fair, I’m not safe, etc.

Once you know your theme, now you can begin to build new thought patterns and habits to support the opposite. As the new patterns become habit, you support your body and your fertility from the inside out.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

“The present moment is significant, not as the bridge between past and future, but by reason of its contents, which can fill our emptiness and become ours, if we are capable of receiving them” — Dag Hammarskjold

Heart in CloudsWhen you are working on building your family, there can be a tremendous pull to re-live past mistakes or past hurts (so they don’t happen again), or think about what might happen in the future.

However, when you spend time re-living the past or putting yourself out into the future, you leave out the time when you can truly experience life. Traveling forward or backward in time leaves you feeling lost and empty as soon as you come back to present day.

When you spend time truly engaging in this moment right here right now, you are giving yourself the opportunity to fill up.

Imagine spending the day thinking about what decision you should make, or worrying about the outcome of the latest test you’ve had. When you crawl into bed at night and think back over the day, how are you going to feel? Will it feel like a “successful” day? One filled with great moments? Or is it going to feel like another “lost” day. A day where no movement happened? One more day that has been lost to the struggle to conceive your family.

Now imagine spending a good portion of the day engaged in the moment. Feeling the emotions that come up. Noticing the world around you — really being engaged in what’s happening. When you crawl into bed, how will it feel?

You will need to practice present moment living to really know, but I can share a couple of outcomes you can expect. First, you are going to feel more alive than you have felt in a long time. And, your body and your fertility will respond to that new good feeling place.

Ready to make the decision to live in this moment and fill yourself up?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Blank SignsHow often are you certain that you KNOW what’s going to happen?

I am not talking about the ‘crystal ball’ type of seeing the future. What I am talking about are the times when you are certain you know what the outcome of a situation is going to be:

If my FSH turns out over 10, I KNOW I’ll never be able to get pregnant.
If I don’t get this project done and done well, I’m going to get fired.
If I don’t go to this event, my friends are never going to forgive me.

So, I’ve dramatized the situations a little bit to make a point. Yours may be a little more subtle:

If I don’t get to sleep, tomorrow is going to be a disaster.
If I don’t get the cat to the vet soon, the vet is going to think I’m a terrible caretaker.
If I don’t get these phone calls made before bed, everyone is going to be angry at me.

Are all of these really true?

95% of the time—NO.

So why do we do this to ourselves?

  • Habit.
  • We think it will motivate us.
  • Feels true in the moment.
  • Caught up in the moment.
  • It keeps us moving.

While all of these are legitimate reasons, they themselves aren’t always true. Predicting the future, no matter how small an issue, simply leads to increasing the stress response in your body. A little stress response is helpful—too much takes you over the edge. Too much decreases your productivity and gets you caught in the loop of things seeming worse and worse.

What if you could let go of making predictions about the results of your actions? What if you could simply do the activities or tasks without making a dire consequence?

How much more effective do you think you could be without the extra weight and pressure of predicting the future?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Emotions. Dealing with fertility issues creates so many emotions.

These emotions can wreck havoc with your desire to stay focused on what you want. Sometimes you know exactly why you’re feeling how you’re feeling; other times, emotions can just feel like a knot or a block, and you don’t know why you’re feeling that way.

At times like these, I like to use a breathing technique.

You can use your breath to help clear away your thoughts, or interrupt a downward spiral of emotion. Breathing techniques are wonderful because you can use them anytime, anywhere.

Try these breathing patterns to help you let go of whatever you are feeling and create the space you need to start on a different feeling path.

  1. Breathe in for a count of (4), hold your breath for a count of (8), and then blow out for a count of (7).
  2. Breathe in for a count of (4), hold your breath for a count of (16), and blow out for a count of (8).

Choose one of the patterns and do each cycle (3) times. As you are holding your breath, imagine your breath is reaching in and grabbing onto whatever you don’t want in your mind or your body, then you can blow it all away on your out breath.

How do you feel when you are finished?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

I think that letting go is something that happens in waves, or in maybe layers is a better word. We have so many hopes, dreams, and emotions wrapped up in each part of us that we want to release, it almost has to happen in stages. Give yourself permission to let go of whatever piece you can today and know that tomorrow a little bit more will go and the next day a bit more…

Imagery for letting go in stages:

Imagine your mind and body is wrapped around whatever you wish to release as tightly as a new bud on a rose bush. This bud is completely wrapped with the green outer petals still tightly furled. It is so tightly furled that the true shape of the bud is still distorted. What would happen if those first leaves never released? What if the flower yet to be just stayed tightly curled around its core? How much energy is it taking just to be trying to hold so tightly to this position? Imagine your mind and body is slowly deciding to loosen, just a bit. Perhaps, even loosening seems scary, so they decide just not to hold on so hard, so the first decision is to release the muscles that are working so hard to hang on. Then, when you are ready, imagine that your mind and body are slowing unfurling from this issue, gently opening and releasing, and opening and releasing, slowly showing more and more of what’s inside, exposing the color, shape, and beauty of the flower within. Gently, and at your own pace, opening to new possibilities.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

As humans, we crave meaning. We need to know WHY something is happening. Perhaps it’s the thought that if we know the “why,” we’ll know the “how” to solve the issue that fuels the search.

Sometimes, though, the unresolved search for meaning leads to considerable stress and leads us to ask questions that are even more difficult to answer. Because they are difficult to answer, we often “make up” our own meanings that come more from our wounded self than from Truth.

A question that often comes up when I speak to clients is: “Is it possible that I’m just not supposed to have children? Maybe God doesn’t want me to have children?” Sometimes clients have already decided they are being punished by God. Or simply, children aren’t part of their life purpose.

If this is something you have been thinking about, here’s my suggestion.

When you are dealing with an issue as charged as infertility or loss, it is easy for the hurt part of your mind to give you an answer that isn’t true.

To get a true answer, schedule a time when you can go somewhere very quiet and a place that you feel most connected with your higher power. Spend several minutes just breathing. Allow yourself to come into this present moment. Then, in whatever way feels most comfortable and authentic, connect with your higher power.

When you feel the connection, ask the question: are children part of my life path?

Notice the impulses and intuition that you receive.

Connecting and asking the question from a quiet and centered space is the only way to get a clear answer. This allows you to get an answer that is not from your conscious mind or the part of you that has been hurt over and over.

No matter what your question, this process will help you receive answers; and you will stay out of the negative downward stress spiral that comes when the hurt part of you is trying desperately to answer the question.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Question:

clock_south_hampton2How do you maintain a positive attitude while in the waiting period after embryo transfer (for IVF cycle) and preparing yourself emotionally for a possible failure? After several failed cycles, it is too painful to not try to prepare oneself for a negative outcome. It’s too painful to believe with all your heart that you are pregnant and then receive a call that you are not. I do use your IVF Meditation CD and love it, but it gets harder the last few days to get into that zone of peace your meditation CD usually brings.

Answer:

Here’s the question I ask my individual clients who have been through the ringer over and over again:

Where can you put your best focus?

Chances are, if you are someone who has been through believing and then getting negative results, focusing on “I’m pregnant” is going to be really hard.

How about a focus of:

I’ve done the best I know how to do.
I’m allowing my body to do the best it/she can do in this moment.
I do what I can do and leave the rest to Spirit/God/Universe.
No matter what happens, I’ll find a way to be a Mother.
I’m open to receiving the best outcome for this cycle.

See if there’s one of these that speaks to you — or if it inspires a thought of your own.

Your body knows your desire is to get pregnant and have a healthy baby at the end of nine months. Your job — from a Mind~Body perspective — is to find a way to have thoughts that match this desire.

Focusing on “I’m Pregnant” when you’ve had a lot of experience to prove it isn’t a certainty you are, now puts your thoughts in direct conflict with your desire. You find yourself resisting the thoughts you are thinking and not being able to get into the flow that was easier to find during the first part of your cycle.

You want to pick a thought that leaves you feeling open and connected with your body — not fighting it.

No matter where you are in your cycle right now, begin to think about what your best focus can be.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.”
—William Penn

Many of us fear silence. If we just keep pushing ahead, doing and constantly thinking, we can keep pushing away all the thoughts that scare and frighten us. What if this never changes? What if I never achieve what I am pursuing so hard? Why is life so unfair?

But constantly pushing and driving and ignoring those very thoughts isn’t sustainable. There is a breaking point — whether that breaking point shows up as depression, anxiety, or extreme fatigue.

When you add in a short time of relaxation and silence to your regular routine, you take the “edge” off those fearful thoughts. They no longer hold the power they used to. You improve your general physical and emotional health as well as your reproductive system.

Today, take five minutes to stop pushing forward and just be. Focus on your breath coming in and out of your body. Let any thoughts going through your mind gently float away like watching leaves going down a stream. If you have trouble completely emptying your mind, pick a word or phrase to focus on, “I am feeling peaceful,” “joy,” “quiet.” As you get more adept at finding the silence, lengthen out the time you spend in quiet. Notice how you feel as you allow yourself this gift everyday.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.