Entries tagged with “emotional chemistry”.


A common thought in the Mind~Body~Spirit approach to conceiving is that it is helpful to “let go” or “surrender.” I have clients tell me all the time they think they need to surrender because there are so many stories of people “giving up” and then they get pregnant.

Surrendering or letting go is challenging because many people do believe they have to “give up” their desire for a baby.

I do teach surrender all the time with my clients, but here’s what I am asking them to surrender:

  • The constant monkey mind, which is always questioning and asking, “What do I do next?”
  • The attachment to needing a baby. What I mean by this is we often attach very specific meaning to having that baby. To some people it means they are no longer a failure, or have finally proved that they are enough. This creates mental tension. When you can embody the knowing that no matter what happens — baby or no baby — you are going to be okay. You move your entire physical body into a knowing of safety. This creates the emotional chemistry that allows your cells to be in growth mode, which in turn supports your innate fertility.
  • The attachment to how the baby comes. This often creates the most fear. I am not asking you to be comfortable with all avenues to creating a child. I am also not asking you to take any steps into any avenues that you aren’t ready to take (or may even need). However, when you place a limitation such as: I refuse to use medical intervention… or… I refuse to do IVF, etc., then you create a substantial amount of mental resistance, which takes a lot of energy to deflect. This draws down your available physical resources and creates the emotional chemistry that supports fear mode in your cells.

Attachment creates both emotional suffering and physiological changes within your body, which work against your fertility. Surrender is never asking you to give up your desire, simply your attachment to needing the baby to be happy.

Surrender is an evolution. Start today by becoming aware of what you are attaching to your desire to have a baby and how this baby comes to you. Take those questions softly and gently and see what arises.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” — Victor Frankel

Our human nature drives to try to “known” solutions before doing something else. It’s not that we only want an easy solution; it’s more about: how can you try something you don’t know about?

Yet, when a big problem persists, it’s time to find out what you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Mind~Body~Spirit solutions for fertility issues typically fall into the “didn’t know you didn’t know” category. Taking on a M~B~S view of fertility requires moving from believing doctors and medical science have ALL the answers to uncovering your own role in your health.

You have probably made steps to taking care of your own health in the areas of diet and exercise before. However, what about listening to the deeper messages from your body?

Here’s something to think about: In addition to being painful, excruciatingly frustrating, depressing, sad, and (add your current emotion here), infertility is also a message to you from your body.

A message energy is blocked somewhere in your body. A message your body is trying to get your attention in the only way it knows how. A message that when you really hear it; will tell you what to do to heal.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. in “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” describes this eloquently:

“Every thought we think has a biochemical equivalent. Every emotion we feel has a biochemical equivalent. One of my colleagues says, ‘The mind is the space between the cells.’ So when the part of your mind that is your uterus talks to you, through pain or excessive bleeding, are you prepared to listen to it?”

This can be quite a challenge to get your mind wrapped around. We typically aren’t taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to cover up symptoms with Tylenol or Tums. We’re taught to push through our body’s pain. Not with malicious intent — but from a disconnected understanding of how the body works.

I invite you to begin to step up to this new challenge to change yourself. Begin to start thinking of all of the physical symptoms in your body — painful periods, short luteal phases, muscle pain, headaches, and digestive issues — as messages from your body.

Take time to quiet your mind, take a couple of deep breaths, and then drop your awareness down into your body and ask, “What do you want me to know?”

You’ll be amazed at what you hear once you start listening.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

When you are feeling sad or anxious, or any other negative emotion because of what’s happening with your fertility, those feelings are created from two different sources.

First, the very obvious: it’s painful to constantly seek something that keeps not happening. It’s heart wrenching to not have your baby yet.

Second, the not as obvious: what you believe about yourself because you don’t yet have a baby.

While dealing with the first is important, healing those emotions tends to be short lasting unless you also heal the second. Kind of like putting a Band-Aid over a broken bone; the support will help it feel better for a while, but anytime something moves the Band-Aid, the pain will come right back.

Let me give you an example.

In my work with clients this week, the same theme has come up in many conversations:

“I’m afraid if I don’t ever have a baby I’m going to end up being a bitter old woman.”

When this fear is running in the back of your mind, anytime something negative happens in relationship to building your family, not only do you feel emotion because of the present situation, you also feel the pain of the fear that you are going to be a bitter old woman. All emotions in the present become magnified.

Using a Mind~Body approach, you can uncover these underlying thoughts and beliefs, which fuel emotions of your present time experiences. As you heal the underlying thoughts and beliefs, you have more peace in your body, less underlying conflict, which touches off the fight or flight response, and gives you more resources to handle the daily ups and downs of building your family.

If you are willing, I invite you to take a couple of minutes and either write this question in a journal or let it sit lightly in your consciousness and see what arises:

What do I believe about myself because of the challenge I’ve had creating my family?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

I recently received a beautiful e-mail from a client who used the Anji meditations to help with conceiving and a healthy pregnancy. During our e-mail conversation, she shared this comment with me:

“It’s amazing what happened when I started to believe in myself again and trust my body, and relax. I used to get upset when my OB told me to ‘relax, it will happen,’ relaxing really was what I needed. ”

If only the OBs were able to explain this in a deep and complete enough way, so many more people could be helped with that information! However, without an understanding of why it’s so important to incorporate relaxation, the comment “just relax” comes off sounding like a dismissal of your experience, or how you are feeling inside is unimportant or easy to change.

Mind~Body medicine is able to both explain the impact of how you feel on your fertility and give you the tools to shift. In other words, how you are feeling is directly related to your fertility, and therefore, vitally important to consider. (It isn’t just how you are feeling BECAUSE of your fertility challenges, but how your emotions and beliefs impacted your fertility BEFORE you wanted to conceive).

Let me give you a more in depth explanation from the point of view of one form of mind~body medicine, Chinese Medicine.

From a Chinese Medicine perspective, we are all born with a life essence, which is stored and expressed as Kidney energy. The activity we do during our daily lives either adds to that bank of energy, or removes it.

The goal is to have many more activities that add to the bank. When we constantly remove — through stress, anxiety, fear, busyness, etc. — we end up dipping into our basic life essence, which is hard on the body and the basic life processes we need to work — including reproduction.

How you feel is a perfect indicator of whether you are adding or subtracting from this life essence.

When your life is full of emotion that doesn’t feel good like perfectionism, fear, worry, shame, guilt, stress, hopelessness, and anger, you are not adding to the bank of life essence, you are withdrawing from it. People come into this life with all different amounts in their banks. However, with enough ongoing drains, no matter what you came in with, you will start draining that basic amount.

When your life and feelings tend more towards neutrality, hope, calm, peace, happiness, you are adding to your life essence.

What is even more interesting about all of this is that in Chinese Medicine, Kidney is responsible for reproduction. This gives you a direct correlation between how you feel and your ability to conceive.

For the next week, I ask you to slip into the role of observer: are you adding or subtracting from your life essence?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Question: “I have listened to relaxation/mindfulness CDs. I find the effects are not long lasting. Stress is alleviated for a short while, but returns rather quickly. What am I missing?”

Answer: Great question! It takes time to use the relaxation CDs, if they aren’t helpful long term, what’s the point of scheduling in the time? There are several points that I would like to share:

First: when you include relaxation or mindfulness CDs into your regular routine, you are making changes in how your body handles stress at the cellular level. It is as if you are putting a layer of Saran Wrap over the tops of the cells that listen for stress signals in your body.

This means when situations arise in your life that would typically cause you to feel stress in your body, the cells won’t react and therefore you won’t feel as anxious, tense, sore, headache-y, or with your specific stress signal.

Here’s the catch though. In order to get these lasting physiological effects, you need to be using the relaxation technique on a regular basis for about two weeks.

You will feel that short-term relief immediately upon listening — the deeper effects take longer.

Second: Stress is a catchall phrase for many different emotions: anger, frustration, sadness, fear, grief, hopelessness. These emotions are present in daily life for many reasons. Simply doing a relaxation exercise everyday isn’t going to change those reasons.

A relaxation exercise doesn’t change that you have been trying for a baby for two years, or that you are worried about your finances, or that you are still grieving over your last miscarriage.

It will change the intensity of the emotions, but the thoughts and beliefs that create the emotions will still be firmly entrenched.

In my opinion, the relaxation CD is simply the first step of feeling better. This is a very important step because it helps to quiet the body, which makes it a lot easier to hear what is really causing the emotion.

The second step is identifying and releasing the thoughts and beliefs, which are creating the stressful thoughts in the first place. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is an invaluable tool for creating changes in your thoughts and beliefs.

So, when you combine the regularity of a relaxation CD with releasing the thoughts and beliefs that cause stressful feelings, you end with a powerful combination that can change your day to day life experience as well as enhance your natural fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”
— Victor Frankel

It is simply human nature to try our “known” solutions before doing something else. It’s not that we only want an easy solution; it’s more about: how can you try something you don’t know about?

And yet, when a big problem persists, it’s time to find out what you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Mind~Body~Spirit solutions for fertility issues typically fall into the “didn’t know you didn’t know” category. Taking on a M~B~S view of fertility requires moving from believing that doctors and medical science have ALL the answers to uncovering your own role in your health.

You have probably made steps to taking care of your own health in the areas of diet and exercise before. However, what about listening to the deeper messages from your body?

Here’s something to think about: In addition to being painful, excruciatingly frustrating, depressing, sad and (add your current emotion here), infertility is also a message to you from your body.

A message that energy is blocked somewhere in your body. A message that your body is trying to get your attention in the only way it knows how. A message that when you really hear it; will tell you what to do to heal.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. in Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom puts this very eloquently: “Every thought we think has a biochemical equivalent. Every emotion we feel has a biochemical equivalent. One of my colleagues says, ‘The mind is the space between the cells.’ So when the part of your mind that is your uterus talks to you, through pain or excessive bleeding, are you prepared to listen to it?”

This can be quite a challenge to get your mind wrapped around. We typically aren’t taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to cover up symptoms with Tylenol or Tums. We’re taught to push through our body’s pain. Not with malicious intent — but from a disconnected understanding of how the body works.

I invite you to begin to step up to this new challenge to change yourself. Begin to start thinking of all of the physical symptoms in your body — painful periods, short luteal phases, muscle pain, headaches, and digestive issues — as messages from your body.

You’ll be amazed at what you hear once you start listening.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

How many times have you heard women are born with all the eggs they will ever produce? How many times have you heard there is nothing you can do to change the health of your ovaries, follicles, and resulting eggs?

Neither of these is true and it breaks my heart each time I hear a new client talk with me about these fears.

Dr. Randine Lewis addressed both of these issues very eloquently in a recent blog post. If you are not aware of Randine’s work with fertility, please visit her site at TheFertileSoul.com, or pick up a copy of her book, The Infertility Cure.

I am sharing her full article with you today.

Can Women Make New Eggs?

By Dr. Randine Lewis
TheFertileSoul.com

A new study confirmed the underlying belief, unproven, that the ovary contains deep, hidden stem cells, capable of becoming new eggs. It was previously believed that a woman’s ovarian potential was determined before birth, and was incapable of being improved upon. While science hasn’t been able to study ovarian potential from healthy, living ovarian tissue, rodent studies have supported the idea that mammalian ovarian cells have a potential to produce new cells. Yet, the only tissue science has previously had to study was pathological or diseased tissue, removed from the body. It was previously proven that menopausal ovaries, when placed in a younger, healthier body, were capable of ovulating again. Science does not know how, why, or under what circumstances those stem cells can produce eggs.

The ovaries respond to cues from the internal environment (the blood circulation, hormones, nutritional status, oxygenation, stress hormones in the blood., toxin and antioxidant levels…) and create a follicular environment to mimic the body’s internal response to its external environment. It is within that follicular environment that the eggs (which have been in a dormant state since before birth) undergo meiosis, and wait to see if they will be selected for maturation and ovulation.

Knowing that ovarian tissue is capable of producing new eggs, and knowing that primordial follicles remain dormant until called into circulation by communicating with the body’s internal environment (which is based on her emotional interpretation of the external environment), let me provide a couple of stories from women I have treated.

  • A woman underwent high dose radiation and chemotherapy, which “killed” her ovaries. She conceived naturally.
  • A woman in ovarian failure, with an FSH value over 100, conceived naturally.
  • A woman conceived during her 7th IVF at age 47.
  • A woman conceived naturally with ¼ of one ovary.
  • A woman conceived naturally with only one ovary on the left, and only one fallopian tube, on the right.
  • A woman gave birth to her first child, conceived naturally, at age 48.

The body is capable of miraculous feats, when provided the right cues. I am less concerned with how to manipulate stem cells in the lab ten years from now, than I am with providing the right environment where the body can call upon its deepest, dormant potential now.

While the examples might be clinical anecdotes and not research worthy, the beauty of these stories is that each of the women above had to call upon a higher potential within.

According to Chinese medicine, the energy that stirs this primordial potential comes not from the Kidneys (which govern the ovaries), but from the Heart (Spirit’s) interaction with the primordial potential within the ovaries. Energetically, ones highest potential must reach into one’s most basic potential.

When an internal pressure cooker is provided (like the fertility journey,) an internal state of tension is produced, requiring one to call upon this higher level of interaction. If it isn’t accessed, the HPO axis continues on its previous (horizontal) pathway of decline. When a woman can access her heart’s highest potential, we can consider it an evolutionary jump, calling upon that hidden (vertical) potential to now manifest at a higher level.

Dr. Randine Lewis is the author of The Way of The Fertile Soul (Atria/Simon & Schuster, 2007) and The Infertility Cure (Little, Brown & Company, 2004), and her work is regularly featured in the international media including on CBS’ The Early Show and in the Washington Post, The Economist, the Wall Street Journal Europe, the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Therapies, Elle magazine, Organic Style magazine, Pregnancy magazine and other publications. Dr Lewis is also the creator of The Fertile Soul ® body, mind, spirit program of deep internal healing based upon Taoist and Chinese medical practices. For more information, including retreats, please visit www.TheFertileSoul.com.

 

Dealing with infertility means becoming exposed to many difficult topics. You are inundated with facts and figures about age and chromosomes. You experience first hand the heartbreak of loss, whether that is the loss of trust in your body, the loss of the naïveté other women get to have regarding pregnancy, or the loss of a baby.

Of course you don’t want to spend any more time than you have to dealing with the difficult topics.

However, from a body/mind perspective, it makes a difference HOW you handle the difficult topics. Sometimes, instinct makes you want to turn away from the difficult topics, to protect your heart, to keep from being completely overwhelmed. Oftentimes, the easiest way to do this is to bury the emotions, the memories, and the thoughts.

The problem with this, to borrow the title from a wonderful book on this topic, “feelings buried alive NEVER die.” Not only do they not die, they go on living in your subconscious and the cells of your body. They are very much alive and influencing how the cells of your body are acting and behaving.

Stay with me here, because I know this can be an overwhelming concept at first. It is NOT my goal to have you scared of your thoughts and emotions. In fact, you have more power than you know when it comes to these thoughts and emotions.

Here’s the key to handling thoughts and emotions: Instead of feeling like the choice is to either bury the emotion down deep or to push it away and try to pretend your way into having it not bother you, take your feelings or your thoughts one step at a time.

Take the “scary” or emotional thought and see what the next best thought is you can have about it. The new thought doesn’t have to be all bright and shiny and positive, that’s not going to be believable. It just has to be a little bit better than the thought before.

So for example, let’s take the thought:

“My body is never going to do what I want it to do.”

Shift that to:

“My body hasn’t been doing what I want it to do.”

Feel the difference in those two statements. Read them each out loud and really feel the difference.

Shift that to:

“I’m learning new ways to work with my body that I didn’t know about before.”

Now, read the first statement and this statement out loud. Feel the difference.

If you never take this thought any farther, can you feel the difference of where you have “left” your thoughts and emotions on this topic? Even a shift like this will make a profound difference in the cells of your body and your reproductive system.

As you get more skilled with shifting your thoughts, you will discover the power that your thoughts and emotions truly hold.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

In the business world, days are structured with meetings, projects, and deadlines. Without structure, days would be chaotic and unproductive.

The same is true for your emotions and feelings.

When you don’t consider how you would like to feel, your emotions and feelings can be chaotic and lead you to many unproductive places. Paying attention to your feelings and emotions is important to your reproductive system.

While no one can be positive 100% or probably even 80% of the time, particularly when dealing with a challenging situation like fertility issues, knowing how to bring your emotions back to a neutral or positive place makes a positive impact on your fertility.

When you are consistently feeling stressed, upset, angry, frustrated, you are triggering the fight or flight stress response in your body, which wrecks havoc with your entire reproductive system.

One way to help shift your thoughts and feelings is to create a strong framework by setting an intention about how you want to feel before launching into the day.

For example, when you get up in the morning, as you are getting ready for the day, decide how you would like to feel today — peaceful, joyful, calm, accepting, curious, centered, exuberant, etc. Once you have decided what you would like to have as your primary emotion today, set your intention that your day will be filled with this emotion.

As you practice this on a regular basis, you will be surprised by how your days begin to follow your intentions.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“Time is not a line, but a series of now-points” — Taisen Deshimaru

Pull yourself into this now-point. Experience this now-point.

If you are having a difficult day or a sense of worry, pulling yourself into this moment can feel a little scary. Most of us find a way to “numb-out” or bury a moment that is filled with a “negative” emotion.

This simply hides the emotion to act on the body at a later time. You are actually passing the emotion on to your future.

When you stay present in the moment, stay present to the feeling, you handle the emotion and then transform it. Feel the feeling, honor it, acknowledge it, and then actively make a new choice.

Staying in the present moment means you are giving a gift to your body and ultimately, your fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.