Entries tagged with “emotion”.


I recently received a beautiful e-mail from a client who used the Anji meditations to help with conceiving and a healthy pregnancy. During our e-mail conversation, she shared this comment with me:

“It’s amazing what happened when I started to believe in myself again and trust my body, and relax. I used to get upset when my OB told me to ‘relax, it will happen,’ relaxing really was what I needed. ”

If only the OBs were able to explain this in a deep and complete enough way, so many more people could be helped with that information! However, without an understanding of why it’s so important to incorporate relaxation, the comment “just relax” comes off sounding like a dismissal of your experience, or how you are feeling inside is unimportant or easy to change.

Mind~Body medicine is able to both explain the impact of how you feel on your fertility and give you the tools to shift. In other words, how you are feeling is directly related to your fertility, and therefore, vitally important to consider. (It isn’t just how you are feeling BECAUSE of your fertility challenges, but how your emotions and beliefs impacted your fertility BEFORE you wanted to conceive).

Let me give you a more in depth explanation from the point of view of one form of mind~body medicine, Chinese Medicine.

From a Chinese Medicine perspective, we are all born with a life essence, which is stored and expressed as Kidney energy. The activity we do during our daily lives either adds to that bank of energy, or removes it.

The goal is to have many more activities that add to the bank. When we constantly remove — through stress, anxiety, fear, busyness, etc. — we end up dipping into our basic life essence, which is hard on the body and the basic life processes we need to work — including reproduction.

How you feel is a perfect indicator of whether you are adding or subtracting from this life essence.

When your life is full of emotion that doesn’t feel good like perfectionism, fear, worry, shame, guilt, stress, hopelessness, and anger, you are not adding to the bank of life essence, you are withdrawing from it. People come into this life with all different amounts in their banks. However, with enough ongoing drains, no matter what you came in with, you will start draining that basic amount.

When your life and feelings tend more towards neutrality, hope, calm, peace, happiness, you are adding to your life essence.

What is even more interesting about all of this is that in Chinese Medicine, Kidney is responsible for reproduction. This gives you a direct correlation between how you feel and your ability to conceive.

For the next week, I ask you to slip into the role of observer: are you adding or subtracting from your life essence?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

We all want it at one time or another. THE answer. THE technique. THE “thing” to DO that will give you what you want. THE “thing” you can just DO—preferably, once —that will ease the pain once and for all that will immediately provide the results.

How many times, as you have tried to conceive your family, have you closed your eyes and wished or prayed for “the answer.” “Just TELL me what to do and I’ll DO it. I just need to know what to DO.”

In reality, though, this is a trap. Actually, it’s two traps.

Trap #1: If it isn’t big, it isn’t enough.

This is a trap because it keeps you from seeing the small changes you could make that together add up to the big result. You keep waiting for the big “thing” to do and ignore the other small messages your body is giving you.

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

Small seems too easy. Small seems insignificant. Small feels like you aren’t really trying. If there was something small that could really affect your fertility, everyone would be doing it by now.

This leads directly into trap #2.

Trap #2: DOING something external is more important than BEING something internally.

Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on physical action. Emotions and feelings are something that are “nice” to change, but not really important.

In your body, you can’t get further from the truth.

Your cells are always listening to your emotions and your feelings. Your emotions create the cellular environment that determines what aspect of your DNA is switched on or off. This same environment causes your cells to be either in growth mode or in protection/fear mode.

Your emotions and your feelings are a vital part of your fertility. They are a vital part of aging. They are a vital part of every aspect of your health.

“THE” Answer

Pay attention to the thoughts, emotions, and feelings that are swirling in your body. What can you DO today that will help shift those thoughts, emotions, and feelings that help you move from sadness, fear, anxiety, to a more neutral or positive state of mind?

What small shift in thinking will help with this? You don’t need to shift from feeling deep sadness or worry immediately to being a “Pollyanna” about your fertility. However, what is something small that you can change in your thoughts that will bring a sense of relief?

As you experience a small sense of relief here, and then another small sense of relief, and then yet another, you’ll begin to find it gets easier and easier. You’ll find you no longer have to work at it, the shifting will happen on it’s own. How different would day-to-day life be? How different would your cells be acting throughout your body? What impact could you make on your fertility?

You’ll notice I did use the word DO. Physical action is an important part—you won’t get pregnant simply by sitting and feeling good. However, as you make your small shifts in thought, you’ll be more drawn to the types of physical changes that will help you discover the best path to your family.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

When you aren’t receiving something that you’ve been working so hard to achieve, one of the aspects that can be “off” in your psyche is the concept of what it means to “want.”

Is it okay to “want”?

Do we all really deserve what we want?

Is it fair to say that everyone who “wants” a baby should receive one?

Many spiritual traditions and let’s face it, many parents and society in general, instill in us the message: it’s not okay to want. It’s selfish to want. You don’t always get what you want. Don’t get your hopes up.

But is it really true?

In my Spiritual journey, I’ve learned something completely to the opposite: wanting is what helps your soul evolve. As you develop new wants and allow yourself to align with them, you are developing and growing not just yourself, but the world as a whole.

These types of wants range from material to the esoteric.

Wants are driving your growth and what you are receiving. You’re literally wired to want.

“But, Jennifer,” you say, “I’ve wanted a baby for a long time now, why aren’t I receiving what I want?”

Sometimes it takes a while for wants to manifest in physical form. As humans, we like to give meaning, so we create beliefs about the fact that the baby isn’t present yet: “I must not deserve this.” Or, “I’m not good enough to deserve this.” Or, any other combination or permutation of those messages.

Here’s what I want you to realize: when you make a decision like that, you are literally working against your Self and your Soul. When you carry these beliefs deep within your system, the Universe is going to bring more experiences that match this belief.

You are setting up beliefs that make it even harder to get what you want. This, of course, tends to seem to prove the belief.

The place to start is knowing: “I deserve what I want. I choose to receive what I want.”

What other beliefs about wanting are you now ready to release?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

As humans, we crave meaning. We need to know WHY something is happening. Perhaps it’s the thought that if we know the “why,” we’ll know the “how” to solve the issue that fuels the search.

Sometimes, though, the unresolved search for meaning leads to considerable stress and leads us to ask questions that are even more difficult to answer. Because they are difficult to answer, we often “make up” our own meanings that come more from our wounded self than from Truth.

A question that often comes up when I speak to clients is: “Is it possible that I’m just not supposed to have children? Maybe God doesn’t want me to have children?” Sometimes clients have already decided they are being punished by God. Or simply, children aren’t part of their life purpose.

If this is something you have been thinking about, here’s my suggestion.

When you are dealing with an issue as charged as infertility or loss, it is easy for the hurt part of your mind to give you an answer that isn’t true.

To get a true answer, schedule a time when you can go somewhere very quiet and a place that you feel most connected with your higher power. Spend several minutes just breathing. Allow yourself to come into this present moment. Then, in whatever way feels most comfortable and authentic, connect with your higher power.

When you feel the connection, ask the question: are children part of my life path?

Notice the impulses and intuition that you receive.

Connecting and asking the question from a quiet and centered space is the only way to get a clear answer. This allows you to get an answer that is not from your conscious mind or the part of you that has been hurt over and over.

No matter what your question, this process will help you receive answers; and you will stay out of the negative downward stress spiral that comes when the hurt part of you is trying desperately to answer the question.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Question: “I have listened to relaxation/mindfulness CDs. I find the effects are not long lasting. Stress is alleviated for a short while, but returns rather quickly. What am I missing?”

Answer: Great question! It takes time to use the relaxation CDs, if they aren’t helpful long term, what’s the point of scheduling in the time? There are several points that I would like to share:

First: when you include relaxation or mindfulness CDs into your regular routine, you are making changes in how your body handles stress at the cellular level. It is as if you are putting a layer of Saran Wrap over the tops of the cells that listen for stress signals in your body.

This means when situations arise in your life that would typically cause you to feel stress in your body, the cells won’t react and therefore you won’t feel as anxious, tense, sore, headache-y, or with your specific stress signal.

Here’s the catch though. In order to get these lasting physiological effects, you need to be using the relaxation technique on a regular basis for about two weeks.

You will feel that short-term relief immediately upon listening — the deeper effects take longer.

Second: Stress is a catchall phrase for many different emotions: anger, frustration, sadness, fear, grief, hopelessness. These emotions are present in daily life for many reasons. Simply doing a relaxation exercise everyday isn’t going to change those reasons.

A relaxation exercise doesn’t change that you have been trying for a baby for two years, or that you are worried about your finances, or that you are still grieving over your last miscarriage.

It will change the intensity of the emotions, but the thoughts and beliefs that create the emotions will still be firmly entrenched.

In my opinion, the relaxation CD is simply the first step of feeling better. This is a very important step because it helps to quiet the body, which makes it a lot easier to hear what is really causing the emotion.

The second step is identifying and releasing the thoughts and beliefs, which are creating the stressful thoughts in the first place. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is an invaluable tool for creating changes in your thoughts and beliefs.

So, when you combine the regularity of a relaxation CD with releasing the thoughts and beliefs that cause stressful feelings, you end with a powerful combination that can change your day to day life experience as well as enhance your natural fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”
— Victor Frankel

It is simply human nature to try our “known” solutions before doing something else. It’s not that we only want an easy solution; it’s more about: how can you try something you don’t know about?

And yet, when a big problem persists, it’s time to find out what you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Mind~Body~Spirit solutions for fertility issues typically fall into the “didn’t know you didn’t know” category. Taking on a M~B~S view of fertility requires moving from believing that doctors and medical science have ALL the answers to uncovering your own role in your health.

You have probably made steps to taking care of your own health in the areas of diet and exercise before. However, what about listening to the deeper messages from your body?

Here’s something to think about: In addition to being painful, excruciatingly frustrating, depressing, sad and (add your current emotion here), infertility is also a message to you from your body.

A message that energy is blocked somewhere in your body. A message that your body is trying to get your attention in the only way it knows how. A message that when you really hear it; will tell you what to do to heal.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. in Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom puts this very eloquently: “Every thought we think has a biochemical equivalent. Every emotion we feel has a biochemical equivalent. One of my colleagues says, ‘The mind is the space between the cells.’ So when the part of your mind that is your uterus talks to you, through pain or excessive bleeding, are you prepared to listen to it?”

This can be quite a challenge to get your mind wrapped around. We typically aren’t taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to cover up symptoms with Tylenol or Tums. We’re taught to push through our body’s pain. Not with malicious intent — but from a disconnected understanding of how the body works.

I invite you to begin to step up to this new challenge to change yourself. Begin to start thinking of all of the physical symptoms in your body — painful periods, short luteal phases, muscle pain, headaches, and digestive issues — as messages from your body.

You’ll be amazed at what you hear once you start listening.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Dealing with infertility means becoming exposed to many difficult topics. You are inundated with facts and figures about age and chromosomes. You experience first hand the heartbreak of loss, whether that is the loss of trust in your body, the loss of the naïveté other women get to have regarding pregnancy, or the loss of a baby.

Of course you don’t want to spend any more time than you have to dealing with the difficult topics.

However, from a body/mind perspective, it makes a difference HOW you handle the difficult topics. Sometimes, instinct makes you want to turn away from the difficult topics, to protect your heart, to keep from being completely overwhelmed. Oftentimes, the easiest way to do this is to bury the emotions, the memories, and the thoughts.

The problem with this, to borrow the title from a wonderful book on this topic, “feelings buried alive NEVER die.” Not only do they not die, they go on living in your subconscious and the cells of your body. They are very much alive and influencing how the cells of your body are acting and behaving.

Stay with me here, because I know this can be an overwhelming concept at first. It is NOT my goal to have you scared of your thoughts and emotions. In fact, you have more power than you know when it comes to these thoughts and emotions.

Here’s the key to handling thoughts and emotions: Instead of feeling like the choice is to either bury the emotion down deep or to push it away and try to pretend your way into having it not bother you, take your feelings or your thoughts one step at a time.

Take the “scary” or emotional thought and see what the next best thought is you can have about it. The new thought doesn’t have to be all bright and shiny and positive, that’s not going to be believable. It just has to be a little bit better than the thought before.

So for example, let’s take the thought:

“My body is never going to do what I want it to do.”

Shift that to:

“My body hasn’t been doing what I want it to do.”

Feel the difference in those two statements. Read them each out loud and really feel the difference.

Shift that to:

“I’m learning new ways to work with my body that I didn’t know about before.”

Now, read the first statement and this statement out loud. Feel the difference.

If you never take this thought any farther, can you feel the difference of where you have “left” your thoughts and emotions on this topic? Even a shift like this will make a profound difference in the cells of your body and your reproductive system.

As you get more skilled with shifting your thoughts, you will discover the power that your thoughts and emotions truly hold.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

First the “scary” news: A research study done with women who were going through IVF showed the women who were more optimistic and hopeful had more eggs and went on to have more live births than women who were the least optimistic.

I say this is scary simply because fertility is filled with plenty of emotions. How can anyone be optimistic and positive ALL the time?

However, because of the way your body’s stress response wrecks havoc on your reproductive system and because your body does have a way to set up “no’s” to conception, it is important to deal with your emotions.

I believe that there are two important skills to have.

The first is to be congruent with your feelings and emotions. This means what you are feeling…you are saying. So you aren’t saying on the outside, “I’m fine, I’m POSITIVE, I’m happy,” and on the inside you are really feeling scared, panicked, and anxious. Your body doesn’t have any idea what to do with this. This sets up a stress response in your body that’s even stronger than just having the emotion. Plus, you never get a chance to work out why you are feeling that way and get yourself to feeling better.

Second, you need to learn to create a place of peace inside your body no matter what is going on around you.

Now, this doesn’t mean you will feel peaceful all the time. You are going to have emotions come up on a daily basis. Instead of having the goal to feel peaceful at all times, you want to be able to learn to have the emotions, deal with them, and then be able to re-find your place of peace.

Re-finding your place of peace allows your body to shut off your biological stress response that can be so detrimental to all the systems of your body when it runs long term. An ongoing stress response in your body will have detrimental effects on your reproductive system.

Re-finding your place of peace gives your body and mind a rest and a break. It also allows you to be able to make decisions from a more centered perspective.

So, in your toolbox you want to have tools that allow you to create both physical and emotional peace.

One of the biggest actions you can do to stay AWAY from peace is to push against your feelings and emotions. Now, this may seem like I am telling you to do two different things: find peace AND feel your emotions.

However, what you want to do first is to OWN your feelings. If you are angry — be angry. If you are sad — be sad. Trying to push away emotions, or cover them up, only intensifies them and makes them come out in ways you don’t want.

What I think feels so difficult about doing this is that we think that mind~body medicine means we “shouldn’t” be angry; we should be feeling “positive”.

You begin to think: If I want to get pregnant, I can’t feel sad, I must feel hopeful. If I want to get pregnant, I “should” be able to get through the two WW with ease and without any stress. All of these “shoulds” and “musts” end up creating more stress, more pressure, and more worry.

NOT the goal!

Instead:

  1. In the moment, reach for the best thought you currently can have. If that means anger is the best you can do right now, great. That is actually a lot higher on the emotional scale than depression. Then, as you keep having thoughts, reach for a thought that is just a little bit less angry, and a little bit less angry, and then a little bit less angry. Perhaps then, you will be able to move your thoughts up from anger to discouragement. While this seems like exchanging one “negative” emotion for another, feeling discouraged is actually higher up on a scale of emotions where Powerlessness is at the bottom and Joy is at the top.

    Check it out for yourself. How does the experience of anger feel in your body versus the experience of feeling discouraged?

    This is just an example. The main point, again, is to reach for the best thought you can in the moment and then cut yourself a break. You ARE doing the best you can. Releasing the “shoulds” and “musts” are a huge step in finding your way to your place of peace.

  2. Begin to create your place of peace. What activities allow you to slip away from the day-to-day world? Reading a great book? Taking a walk outside? While these sound like your typically “just relax” activities, it is important to incorporate these into your daily routine. These activities allow your body to find a resting point.

I’ve given you a lot to think about in this month’s newsletter. Here’s the “take away” message: allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Then, everyday do something or give yourself the time to slip into a more peaceful space. When you do both of these, you will be well on your way to feeling more positive and having your reproductive system in much better balance for conceiving.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.