Anji Blog

Question: “I have listened to relaxation/mindfulness CDs. I find the effects are not long lasting. Stress is alleviated for a short while, but returns rather quickly. What am I missing?”

Answer: Great question! It takes time to use the relaxation CDs, if they aren’t helpful long term, what’s the point of scheduling in the time? There are several points that I would like to share:

First: when you include relaxation or mindfulness CDs into your regular routine, you are making changes in how your body handles stress at the cellular level. It is as if you are putting a layer of Saran Wrap over the tops of the cells that listen for stress signals in your body.

This means when situations arise in your life that would typically cause you to feel stress in your body, the cells won’t react and therefore you won’t feel as anxious, tense, sore, headache-y, or with your specific stress signal.

Here’s the catch though. In order to get these lasting physiological effects, you need to be using the relaxation technique on a regular basis for about two weeks.

You will feel that short-term relief immediately upon listening — the deeper effects take longer.

Second: Stress is a catchall phrase for many different emotions: anger, frustration, sadness, fear, grief, hopelessness. These emotions are present in daily life for many reasons. Simply doing a relaxation exercise everyday isn’t going to change those reasons.

A relaxation exercise doesn’t change that you have been trying for a baby for two years, or that you are worried about your finances, or that you are still grieving over your last miscarriage.

It will change the intensity of the emotions, but the thoughts and beliefs that create the emotions will still be firmly entrenched.

In my opinion, the relaxation CD is simply the first step of feeling better. This is a very important step because it helps to quiet the body, which makes it a lot easier to hear what is really causing the emotion.

The second step is identifying and releasing the thoughts and beliefs, which are creating the stressful thoughts in the first place. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is an invaluable tool for creating changes in your thoughts and beliefs.

So, when you combine the regularity of a relaxation CD with releasing the thoughts and beliefs that cause stressful feelings, you end with a powerful combination that can change your day to day life experience as well as enhance your natural fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

When there is something you want — but don’t have yet — you can end up focusing so hard on what you don’t have that there isn’t any space left to allow in what you do want.

"If I just hold on a little harder, work a little harder, I’ll receive what I want."

This is what we’re all taught, right? If I am just "good enough" or if I "sacrifice enough" I’ll prove to whomever makes the rules that I should really have what I want.

In truth, you just get more and more, and more closed, and hurt and tired as you make your grip tighter and tighter onto the thought that you don’t have what you want. Your heart and your body close down and you retreat from the world around you.

NOT the path to getting what you want — particularly fertility. Fertility is about openness, nurturing, nourishment.

As difficult as it sounds, begin to release your grip on those "don’t have" thoughts. Allow yourself to become more open and you will find yourself opening up to receive what you want.

But, being closed helps to keep the pain away and keep you safe, right? On the surface, it feels like this is true, and yet, being closed cuts everything off.

Think of having a deep cut on your arm. Initially, putting a tourniquet above the cut keeps the blood from spilling out. But, if you left that tourniquet in place for too long, there would be no nutrients or oxygen coming to that part of your arm and eventually, it would die.

Taking the first step to opening is often the hardest. Here is an energy technique to help ease the fear:

Place your right hand on your right temple, and your left hand on your left temple. Begin to gently tap on the bone. Staying on the bone, tap up and over your ears. While you are tapping, say out loud, "It is safe to open back up. I am ready to open back up." Repeat 5 times.

Now consider this: how can I open up to my FERTILITY instead of closing down because of my INFERTTILITY?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

The bonus fifth step in dealing with disappointment is stepping into a neutral emotional place. Different types of disappointment will have varying degrees of emotional intensity. Do not feel like you have to move from sadness and disappointment directly into positivity or hope. Yes, those emotions feel better and are a goal, but the first step is neutral.

If you were feeling really angry or sad, and disappointed, wouldn’t neutral feel better? Then, from neutral, you can move upwards towards hope.

Take the pressure off; don’t require yourself to go all the way to hope and belief from a place of disappointment. So many of my clients are so hard on themselves; they worry if they aren’t in a place of hope and belief that their stress will hamper their efforts of conceiving.

Each forward step you can make, the easier it is on your body. However, take just a moment and feel the relief that would come to your body and all her organs if you just allowed yourself to come to the place of neutral.

Each step of the process to release disappointment takes effort and can be challenging. Because of that, I’m going to give you EFT statements and affirmations to support the work you are doing. You either can use the statements proactively, or as you are actively working on releasing disappointment.

Even though I want to feel better, I simply can’t get there yet, and I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I have to feel hopeful, or I’ll be hurting my chances, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Tapping Affirmations

I honor all my emotions
I choose to step into feeling neutral
I celebrate that I am able to shift my emotions this much
I know I will continue to feel better and better

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

The fourth step in dealing with disappointment: Forgive the others who were involved.

Bet you could see this one coming!

Here’s the deal with forgiving others: it’s NOT about saying that what they did or didn’t do was right or even okay.

It’s about being ready to release your energetic connections to the situation. When you hold onto anger or frustration, or any type of emotions, it simply keeps that situation alive in your body. And, those emotions use up a lot of energetic resources within your body as well as show up manifested in physical form as illness.

Play with this step and see how it works for you.

Who do you blame for the disappointment? For each person that you name, imagine a part of your energy field is tied up holding onto this emotion.

When you are able to release these energy holds, your body has many more resources to be directing towards all the aspects that are involved in your innate fertility. And, it is important to remember that even releasing just a small portion of these emotions will positively affect your body.

Release what you can today, then a little bit more tomorrow, and a little bit more the day after that. What aspects are you ready to release, right now, in this moment because you are ready to move forward?

Each step of the process to release disappointment takes effort and can be challenging. Because of that, I’m going to give you EFT statements and affirmations to support the work you are doing. You either can use the statement proactively or as you are actively working on releasing disappointment.

Even though I am still not ready to forgive, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Even though I’m still too angry and hurt to forgive, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Tapping Affirmations

Won’t it be nice when I’m ready to release this blame
Won’t it be nice when I can step into forgiveness
I am ready to release the energy tied up in anger
I am ready to release the energy tied up in feeling wronged
I am ready to forgive so I can move forward

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere”
 —Francois de La Rochefoucauld

As critically important as it is to have the support of others going through the same type of situation as you, people who truly understand, it is as critically important that you find a place within yourself where there is peace during crisis. No amount of support and understanding can fill up that place for you. It can help lead you there but you must ultimately find the way to access that place.

Even if you (or I) could wave a magic wand and create the most understanding support system in the world, if you don’t have that place of peace within you, that support will eventually stop creating the same kind of relief for you.

Think about pouring water into a vase that has a slow leak. What’s going to happen? Each time you fill the vase, it looks great. You leave the room only to find a puddle of water on the floor and drooping flowers when you return. Keep doing it and the slow leak will turn into a major break.

Ask yourself this: What am I doing to create that place of peace within me right now? What am I doing to fill myself up? How am I being gentle with myself today? What brings me the most relief and how can I have more of that right now?

Creating this place of peace is one of the most helpful benefits of using mind-body-spirit tools such as meditation, visualization, and EFT. Once you know how to create this place for yourself, nothing can take it away. And, the more often you access it, the more in balance your body will become.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.