Entries tagged with “depression anxiety”.


I have spoken with a number of clients this past week who have told me they feel like they are at their breaking point. Life, including fertility struggles, has pushed them to their edges and part of them is terrified they may shatter into too many pieces to ever be whole again.

When you are in this emotional space, the mind~body~spirit tenet “how you feel matters to your fertility” can feel like a slap in the face and simply one more reason to completely fall apart.

However, this emotional space can actually be the greatest gift to your fertility.

Why do I say this? When you are in this space, it is tempting to call yourself “broken.” I would argue you are “cracked open.” In this space, the thoughts and beliefs which support your most negative thought habits and patterns are right there, right at the surface.

These negative thought patterns and habits are typically buried deep within your psyche, creating internal stress and conflict and triggering the type of fight-or-flight response, which is so detrimental to your body. The reason it is so detrimental is because it is constantly running in the background — kind of like how having the dome light on inside your car overnight drains your car battery.

When you find yourself “cracked open,” here’s what you can do to find these beliefs.

Spend some time journaling. Write down exactly what you are feeling. Let yourself be your most whiney, honest, angry self. Let those words simply fly out onto the paper. Then, read back over what you’ve written. What are the themes?

Usually the themes boil down to: I’m not enough, I don’t deserve what I want, life isn’t fair, I’m not safe, etc.

Once you know your theme, now you can begin to build new thought patterns and habits to support the opposite. As the new patterns become habit, you support your body and your fertility from the inside out.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

When you are feeling sad or anxious, or any other negative emotion because of what’s happening with your fertility, those feelings are created from two different sources.

First, the very obvious: it’s painful to constantly seek something that keeps not happening. It’s heart wrenching to not have your baby yet.

Second, the not as obvious: what you believe about yourself because you don’t yet have a baby.

While dealing with the first is important, healing those emotions tends to be short lasting unless you also heal the second. Kind of like putting a Band-Aid over a broken bone; the support will help it feel better for a while, but anytime something moves the Band-Aid, the pain will come right back.

Let me give you an example.

In my work with clients this week, the same theme has come up in many conversations:

“I’m afraid if I don’t ever have a baby I’m going to end up being a bitter old woman.”

When this fear is running in the back of your mind, anytime something negative happens in relationship to building your family, not only do you feel emotion because of the present situation, you also feel the pain of the fear that you are going to be a bitter old woman. All emotions in the present become magnified.

Using a Mind~Body approach, you can uncover these underlying thoughts and beliefs, which fuel emotions of your present time experiences. As you heal the underlying thoughts and beliefs, you have more peace in your body, less underlying conflict, which touches off the fight or flight response, and gives you more resources to handle the daily ups and downs of building your family.

If you are willing, I invite you to take a couple of minutes and either write this question in a journal or let it sit lightly in your consciousness and see what arises:

What do I believe about myself because of the challenge I’ve had creating my family?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Question:

clock_south_hampton2How do you maintain a positive attitude while in the waiting period after embryo transfer (for IVF cycle) and preparing yourself emotionally for a possible failure? After several failed cycles, it is too painful to not try to prepare oneself for a negative outcome. It’s too painful to believe with all your heart that you are pregnant and then receive a call that you are not. I do use your IVF Meditation CD and love it, but it gets harder the last few days to get into that zone of peace your meditation CD usually brings.

Answer:

Here’s the question I ask my individual clients who have been through the ringer over and over again:

Where can you put your best focus?

Chances are, if you are someone who has been through believing and then getting negative results, focusing on “I’m pregnant” is going to be really hard.

How about a focus of:

I’ve done the best I know how to do.
I’m allowing my body to do the best it/she can do in this moment.
I do what I can do and leave the rest to Spirit/God/Universe.
No matter what happens, I’ll find a way to be a Mother.
I’m open to receiving the best outcome for this cycle.

See if there’s one of these that speaks to you — or if it inspires a thought of your own.

Your body knows your desire is to get pregnant and have a healthy baby at the end of nine months. Your job — from a Mind~Body perspective — is to find a way to have thoughts that match this desire.

Focusing on “I’m Pregnant” when you’ve had a lot of experience to prove it isn’t a certainty you are, now puts your thoughts in direct conflict with your desire. You find yourself resisting the thoughts you are thinking and not being able to get into the flow that was easier to find during the first part of your cycle.

You want to pick a thought that leaves you feeling open and connected with your body — not fighting it.

No matter where you are in your cycle right now, begin to think about what your best focus can be.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.”
—William Penn

Many of us fear silence. If we just keep pushing ahead, doing and constantly thinking, we can keep pushing away all the thoughts that scare and frighten us. What if this never changes? What if I never achieve what I am pursuing so hard? Why is life so unfair?

But constantly pushing and driving and ignoring those very thoughts isn’t sustainable. There is a breaking point — whether that breaking point shows up as depression, anxiety, or extreme fatigue.

When you add in a short time of relaxation and silence to your regular routine, you take the “edge” off those fearful thoughts. They no longer hold the power they used to. You improve your general physical and emotional health as well as your reproductive system.

Today, take five minutes to stop pushing forward and just be. Focus on your breath coming in and out of your body. Let any thoughts going through your mind gently float away like watching leaves going down a stream. If you have trouble completely emptying your mind, pick a word or phrase to focus on, “I am feeling peaceful,” “joy,” “quiet.” As you get more adept at finding the silence, lengthen out the time you spend in quiet. Notice how you feel as you allow yourself this gift everyday.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.