Entries tagged with “dealing with disappointment”.


Do you find yourself frustrated because a Mind~Body approach “doesn’t work”?

You’ve done it all. The relaxation. The affirmations. The visualizing. And you still don’t have your baby.

What’s the missing key?

Often, we make the decision that we’re the missing key — but in a negative way.

We are somehow broken, defective, or out of favor with the Divine (Spirit, God, Goddess). The Truth that we’ve cleverly hidden from the rest of the world is finally on view for all to see — we aren’t enough and the fact that there isn’t a baby is the final physical evidence.

All of these convoluted thoughts is one of the reasons infertility is so painful. Not only do you not have the child you want, but you use it as proof to beat yourself up.

The fact of the matter is, the key to allowing a Mind~Body~Spirit focus to bring you the baby you want is simpler than you think.

Consistency.

Each day we have somewhere in the neighborhood of 60,000 thoughts.

60,000 opportunities to take us to a Zen or stressful state of mind.
60,000 opportunities to put our bodies in a place of growth or fear.
60,000 opportunities to create a relax signal or a danger signal.

Depending on your choices, you are either placing your body in a state of alignment with fertility or with infertility.

Perfection is NOT required.

If you can take 51% of the opportunities to move toward peace, Zen, or growth, you are well on your way to creating an internal environment that is in alignment with fertility.

If you take 51% of the opportunities to surrender, let go, trust, open to receive, expect what you want, amplify your fertility, or play in the present moment (all pillars of Be-ing Fertile), you are well on your way to the consistency that will powerfully impact your fertility.

Is it simple? Perhaps.
Is it easy? No.

We have a life time of habits of thought that take us to feeling fear, worry, anxiety, and more.

So what do you do? Use all the Mind~Body~Spirit tools you possibly can:

Meditations
Yoga
Breathing Exercises
Guided Imagery
EFT (to release the patterns of thought that create fear, worry, anxiety)
Acupuncture

All of these will help you create a consistency of thought that will bring your Mind~Body~Spirit into harmony, build your Be-ing Fertile state of being, and align you with your baby.

Remember, I am asking you for consistency, not perfection. You do not need to be the master on the mountaintop to conceive.

I ask you to simply become aware of how you are directing your 60,000 thoughts each day and set the intention that 51% of them bring you towards Be-ing Fertile.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” — Victor Frankel

Our human nature drives to try to “known” solutions before doing something else. It’s not that we only want an easy solution; it’s more about: how can you try something you don’t know about?

Yet, when a big problem persists, it’s time to find out what you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Mind~Body~Spirit solutions for fertility issues typically fall into the “didn’t know you didn’t know” category. Taking on a M~B~S view of fertility requires moving from believing doctors and medical science have ALL the answers to uncovering your own role in your health.

You have probably made steps to taking care of your own health in the areas of diet and exercise before. However, what about listening to the deeper messages from your body?

Here’s something to think about: In addition to being painful, excruciatingly frustrating, depressing, sad, and (add your current emotion here), infertility is also a message to you from your body.

A message energy is blocked somewhere in your body. A message your body is trying to get your attention in the only way it knows how. A message that when you really hear it; will tell you what to do to heal.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. in “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” describes this eloquently:

“Every thought we think has a biochemical equivalent. Every emotion we feel has a biochemical equivalent. One of my colleagues says, ‘The mind is the space between the cells.’ So when the part of your mind that is your uterus talks to you, through pain or excessive bleeding, are you prepared to listen to it?”

This can be quite a challenge to get your mind wrapped around. We typically aren’t taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to cover up symptoms with Tylenol or Tums. We’re taught to push through our body’s pain. Not with malicious intent — but from a disconnected understanding of how the body works.

I invite you to begin to step up to this new challenge to change yourself. Begin to start thinking of all of the physical symptoms in your body — painful periods, short luteal phases, muscle pain, headaches, and digestive issues — as messages from your body.

Take time to quiet your mind, take a couple of deep breaths, and then drop your awareness down into your body and ask, “What do you want me to know?”

You’ll be amazed at what you hear once you start listening.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

When you are feeling sad or anxious, or any other negative emotion because of what’s happening with your fertility, those feelings are created from two different sources.

First, the very obvious: it’s painful to constantly seek something that keeps not happening. It’s heart wrenching to not have your baby yet.

Second, the not as obvious: what you believe about yourself because you don’t yet have a baby.

While dealing with the first is important, healing those emotions tends to be short lasting unless you also heal the second. Kind of like putting a Band-Aid over a broken bone; the support will help it feel better for a while, but anytime something moves the Band-Aid, the pain will come right back.

Let me give you an example.

In my work with clients this week, the same theme has come up in many conversations:

“I’m afraid if I don’t ever have a baby I’m going to end up being a bitter old woman.”

When this fear is running in the back of your mind, anytime something negative happens in relationship to building your family, not only do you feel emotion because of the present situation, you also feel the pain of the fear that you are going to be a bitter old woman. All emotions in the present become magnified.

Using a Mind~Body approach, you can uncover these underlying thoughts and beliefs, which fuel emotions of your present time experiences. As you heal the underlying thoughts and beliefs, you have more peace in your body, less underlying conflict, which touches off the fight or flight response, and gives you more resources to handle the daily ups and downs of building your family.

If you are willing, I invite you to take a couple of minutes and either write this question in a journal or let it sit lightly in your consciousness and see what arises:

What do I believe about myself because of the challenge I’ve had creating my family?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

One of the advantages of using a Mind~Body approach to healing your fertility is that this approach is very personal to you. You are connecting and listening to what your body is telling you, you are paying attention to the emotions and feelings that are present for you, you are “feeding” your body with images of what you want.

However, this can lead to a sneaky new belief: I am the one who has to create this baby. I have to make sure I’m doing all the right things for my body. I have to make sure to visualize at the right time. I have to pay attention to everything. I have to… (fill in the blank).

I say this belief is sneaky because discovering the power you have in relationship to your body is SO important. However, when you want something as much as a child, you want to do everything you can, and it becomes easy to cross the line. Meaning, you end up trying to control your body and its processes instead of listening and working with them.

All this does is create more stress in your Mind~Body~Spirit system.

Your job is to listen to your body. To allow your emotions to flow. To shift your thoughts and feelings. To follow the inspired actions that arise as you listen. To be open and allow your body to do her work.

When you are in this place of allowing, you open to your deep wisdom, your connection with Spirit, the mystery portion of conceiving. This is where conception happens.

Your job is to “till the soil.” Spirit’s job is to “plant the seed.”

So tune into the powerful Mind~Body connection with whatever tools resonate with you. Feel your body coming into alignment with your deep connection to Spirit. Whenever you sense yourself tiptoeing over the line into wanting to control Spirit’s job, come back to your tools. Come back into allowing.

Now you have truly found the power of a Mind~Body approach.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

“Time is not a line, but a series of now-points” — Taisen Deshimaru

Pull yourself into this now-point. Experience this now-point.

If you are having a difficult day or a sense of worry, pulling yourself into this moment can feel a little scary. Most of us find a way to “numb-out” or bury a moment that is filled with a “negative” emotion.

This simply hides the emotion to act on the body at a later time. You are actually passing the emotion on to your future.

When you stay present in the moment, stay present to the feeling, you handle the emotion and then transform it. Feel the feeling, honor it, acknowledge it, and then actively make a new choice.

Staying in the present moment means you are giving a gift to your body and ultimately, your fertility.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

Question:

clock_south_hampton2How do you maintain a positive attitude while in the waiting period after embryo transfer (for IVF cycle) and preparing yourself emotionally for a possible failure? After several failed cycles, it is too painful to not try to prepare oneself for a negative outcome. It’s too painful to believe with all your heart that you are pregnant and then receive a call that you are not. I do use your IVF Meditation CD and love it, but it gets harder the last few days to get into that zone of peace your meditation CD usually brings.

Answer:

Here’s the question I ask my individual clients who have been through the ringer over and over again:

Where can you put your best focus?

Chances are, if you are someone who has been through believing and then getting negative results, focusing on “I’m pregnant” is going to be really hard.

How about a focus of:

I’ve done the best I know how to do.
I’m allowing my body to do the best it/she can do in this moment.
I do what I can do and leave the rest to Spirit/God/Universe.
No matter what happens, I’ll find a way to be a Mother.
I’m open to receiving the best outcome for this cycle.

See if there’s one of these that speaks to you — or if it inspires a thought of your own.

Your body knows your desire is to get pregnant and have a healthy baby at the end of nine months. Your job — from a Mind~Body perspective — is to find a way to have thoughts that match this desire.

Focusing on “I’m Pregnant” when you’ve had a lot of experience to prove it isn’t a certainty you are, now puts your thoughts in direct conflict with your desire. You find yourself resisting the thoughts you are thinking and not being able to get into the flow that was easier to find during the first part of your cycle.

You want to pick a thought that leaves you feeling open and connected with your body — not fighting it.

No matter where you are in your cycle right now, begin to think about what your best focus can be.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.

The bonus fifth step in dealing with disappointment is stepping into a neutral emotional place. Different types of disappointment will have varying degrees of emotional intensity. Do not feel like you have to move from sadness and disappointment directly into positivity or hope. Yes, those emotions feel better and are a goal, but the first step is neutral.

If you were feeling really angry or sad, and disappointed, wouldn’t neutral feel better? Then, from neutral, you can move upwards towards hope.

Take the pressure off; don’t require yourself to go all the way to hope and belief from a place of disappointment. So many of my clients are so hard on themselves; they worry if they aren’t in a place of hope and belief that their stress will hamper their efforts of conceiving.

Each forward step you can make, the easier it is on your body. However, take just a moment and feel the relief that would come to your body and all her organs if you just allowed yourself to come to the place of neutral.

Each step of the process to release disappointment takes effort and can be challenging. Because of that, I’m going to give you EFT statements and affirmations to support the work you are doing. You either can use the statements proactively, or as you are actively working on releasing disappointment.

Even though I want to feel better, I simply can’t get there yet, and I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I have to feel hopeful, or I’ll be hurting my chances, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Tapping Affirmations

I honor all my emotions
I choose to step into feeling neutral
I celebrate that I am able to shift my emotions this much
I know I will continue to feel better and better

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.