Deepak Chopra says: What you focus on expands.

This is a beautiful phrase to illustrate the universal energy principle called “Law of Attraction.”

This also illustrates the scientific understanding that whether you are thinking about a red ball or literally looking at a red ball, the same area of your brain is involved and doesn’t know the difference.

What does this have to do with creating your family?

When you get caught up in the day-to-day struggle with infertility or loss, your attention tends to be on what’s wrong with your body, what’s wrong with where you are in your life. And of course it does. How can you not notice the hurts that come up as a result of having problems creating your family?

At the same time, though, constant focus on what is wrong activates the flight or fight response in your body (which negatively impacts your reproductive system) as well as puts your cells in fear mode (which shuts down normal cell behavior).

Additionally, the Universe reflects back life experiences based on the emotion you are feeling. So, if you are feeling angry, you receive more life experiences, which create a feeling of anger. If you are feeling excited, you receive more life experiences, which create a feeling of excitement.

Please don’t let this create more worry and fear because there is a way through.

First step, be gentle with yourself. You do not need to be a Pollyanna — where nothing ever bothers you or worries you — in order to conceive.

You simply need to pay attention to how you are feeling and when you notice yourself starting to slip in a negative thought pattern, bring yourself back into at least a neutral state of being.

Second step, have an image or a mantra that you can turn to, which will help assist you into at least a neutral state of being. For example:

Mantras: No matter what happens, I’m going to be okay
The Universe really does have my back
Images: Create an image of something that feels good like:
Petting your cat or dog
Watching the sunrise
Floating on a raft in a pool
Sitting in a sidewalk café in your destination of choice

Third step, make a commitment to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want. When you find yourself in an emotional moment, ask yourself:

“Is this emotion based on current conditions or the conditions I want? In other words, am I focused on my fertility or my infertility?”

Simply asking the question is often enough to move you out of a spiral of thought which leads you to getting lost in thinking about what you don’t want.

Finally, have a tool that will help you address the sadness, fear, worry, and anxiety, which can arise when dealing with fertility challenges. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is my go-to resource for emotional healing and clearing.

The more you allow your consciousness to focus on fertility as opposed to infertility, the more you will open to the resources of the Universe as well as allow your body to come into full alignment with creating your family.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit