Archive for April, 2015

I have spoken with a number of clients this past week who have told me they feel like they are at their breaking point. Life, including fertility struggles, has pushed them to their edges and part of them is terrified they may shatter into too many pieces to ever be whole again.

When you are in this emotional space, the mind~body~spirit tenet “how you feel matters to your fertility” can feel like a slap in the face and simply one more reason to completely fall apart.

However, this emotional space can actually be the greatest gift to your fertility.

Why do I say this? When you are in this space, it is tempting to call yourself “broken.” I would argue you are “cracked open.” In this space, the thoughts and beliefs which support your most negative thought habits and patterns are right there, right at the surface.

These negative thought patterns and habits are typically buried deep within your psyche, creating internal stress and conflict and triggering the type of fight-or-flight response, which is so detrimental to your body. The reason it is so detrimental is because it is constantly running in the background — kind of like how having the dome light on inside your car overnight drains your car battery.

When you find yourself “cracked open,” here’s what you can do to find these beliefs.

Spend some time journaling. Write down exactly what you are feeling. Let yourself be your most whiney, honest, angry self. Let those words simply fly out onto the paper. Then, read back over what you’ve written. What are the themes?

Usually the themes boil down to: I’m not enough, I don’t deserve what I want, life isn’t fair, I’m not safe, etc.

Once you know your theme, now you can begin to build new thought patterns and habits to support the opposite. As the new patterns become habit, you support your body and your fertility from the inside out.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

How do I become fertile even when things in life are not perfect and there is a lot of personal stress?

Underlying this question is the understanding that how you feel matters to your fertility (and if this is a new concept for you, you can listen to the Mind~Body~Spirit Keys to Unlocking Your Fertility for an in-depth explanation).

And yet, how do you shift how you are feeling when real life is happening to you every moment of every day?

Let me give you the basic formula:

  1. Add in a period of relaxation on a daily basis.

    When you induce the relaxation response on a daily basis, you literally change how your body responds to stress. It is as if you are putting a layer of Saran Wrap over the cells that are ‘listening’ for the stress.

    You can induce the relaxation response by exercising (as long as you aren’t watching the news, reading a book, answering e-mail, etc., at the same time), getting out in nature, getting lost in beautiful music, deep breathing, meditation, or listening to guided meditations/imagery.

    Twenty minutes daily is best, but start with 5 minutes. Or 3. Something short every day is better than 20 minutes once a week.

  2. Is what you know to be true, really true?

    This is not meant to be an irreverent statement. Nor is it one to suggest that what you are feeling isn’t true.

    However, we humans tend to be our own worst enemies when it comes to our thoughts. Our brains don’t know the difference between thinking about something that is happening in real time or something we are simply thinking about.

    When you are feeling personal stress, take a moment to pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Do I know this to be true?

    Is it really true that if I don’t get pregnant this month that I won’t have a baby? Is it really true that if “x” situation happens then “y” is a given?

    This is where your underlying beliefs and thought patterns begin to get exposed. Challenge them. Use EFT to help diminish them. Get some outside help to get you to see where your beliefs are tripping you up.

  3. Create a basic mantra.

    Even if you do step two and discover your beliefs are in fact ‘making’ you believe something is more stressful than it is, what do you do then? It is challenging to begin to think in a new way.

    The easiest way I have found to start a new belief pattern and thus a new way of thinking, is to create a statement, a mantra of sorts, that you can keep coming back to in the moment. The more you use your mantra, the easier it will be to shift your thoughts in the moment.

    For example:

    No matter what happens, I am going to be okay
    I don’t know how or when, but I am going to be a Mother
    The resources I need are showing up when I need them
    I allow this to unfold
    The Divine has my back in all ways

Remember, the goal is to begin to shift how you feel. Every moment that you are able to make that shift matters to your body. Every moment that you make the shift in how you feel makes the next moment easier to feel better.

Most importantly: You do not have to be perfect to be fertile.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.