Stop Sign WhoaThis may sound like strange advice coming from someone whose business is based on fertility meditations and Unlock Your Fertility coaching services:

Sometimes the best step you can take for your fertility is to remove your focus from fertility.

Why?

When you are over-focused on doing for your fertility, several things can happen:

  1. You are so focused on the doing, so much that you don’t achieve the being-state, which is an important part of whatever technique or method you are using.For example: Let’s say you decide to take a yoga for fertility class. Except, you are also doing acupuncture. Meditation CDs. Eating a whole foods fertility diet. Oh, and working 40+ hours to save up for a potential IVF down the road.So, you fit in the yoga for fertility class, but you race to get there, enjoy the class, but then you are off to somewhere else immediately, completely losing the Zen state you achieved.

    Yes, you can “tick” the box that states, “Take a yoga fertility class.” But, you aren’t letting it completely work for you. Just showing up and doing the class isn’t what creates the changes within your body.

  2. You are so focused that you begin to think you are the one who is creating the pregnancy (or not).Your job is to be in alignment (energetically, physically, and spiritually) with fertility, the actual process of conception will happen outside of your will.When you get micro-focused on every single detail, you create this sense of needing everything to be “perfect” and feeling super stressed when that doesn’t happen. Or, you end up beating yourself up because no matter how hard you work, conception isn’t happening.

    This puts your body in the opposite state to fertility.

  3. You view everything in your life through the lens of (in)fertility.You spend all your time in comparison (to your friends, family, people in the news). (In)fertility masks everything else in your life and leaches every ounce of joy from all aspects of your life. Life becomes, in a word: miserable.

So does this mean you should revert to not thinking about fertility at all, drink wine constantly, and become a complete couch potato?

Well, perhaps.

What I am suggesting is to dive deeply into thinking about what it is you are attempting to create as you focus on your fertility. My answer to that question is that you are creating the space with your mind, body, and spirit to allow a pregnancy.

Sometimes, to create that space, you need to shift your focus away from fertility. Instead, place that focus on creating peace. Quiet within your body. Learning to receive. Releasing old resentments. Trusting the Universe to bring you what you want.

Read over that list again. How does your body — not your mind — respond? Can you feel a sense of ease? That’s exactly what you want to create.

Maybe a glass of wine isn’t a bad start.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.