I’ve heard a similar “complaint” from many people recently: “I’m stressed about being stressed!”

Apparently, I and all the others who talk about the effects of stress on fertility have been doing our jobs well. We’ve really provided good education about how the body works and how long term stress can wreck havoc on the body.

On the one hand, this is really good news to me.

For so long, we’ve taken ourselves out of the equation when it comes to health and wellness. We’re taught to see a doctor for medicine that will make us well. While there are certainly times and places for doctors, you can end up feeling like your personal health and wellness is up to someone else. I celebrate the fact we are relearning our roles in healing our bodies.

But on the other hand (and this is a HUGE but), without the right mind set, personal opportunity turns quickly to full responsibility and then the need to be perfect and then to blame and self flagellation. The end result? More stress. Not exactly the goal!

Here are two ways to balance your knowledge of how stress affects the body AND live in the real world because life is full of stressors, of that there is no doubt!

  1. Change the goal: Learning to deal with stress is NOT the same as being stress free. Stress free is NOT the goal.
    It is the nature of the world to be met with difficulties and challenges.Stressors will continue to pop up in your life even if you are the most practiced relaxer out there.

    Acknowledging this will begin to take some of the pressure off. After all, your body is built to handle short-term stress. It really is okay. The kind of stress you want to avoid is the long term ALWAYS feeling stress about something or another. When there’s no relief from stress, that’s when systems in your body begin to break down.

    I think that part of the frustration and worry about stress comes from the fact researchers have demonstrated the effect of stress on fertility — but they haven’t quantified where the line is between an “okay” amount of stress and when fertility begins to be affected.

    But, when you start noticing stress is building in your daily life, worrying about the stress will only magnify the stress your body feels.

    So the first step is to really know at your core that the goal is to learn how to handle the daily stress, NOT to be stress FREE.

  2. Do the best you can to adopt the following mantra: I am where I am.

    If you are in the middle of a difficult time in your work or personal life and find yourself more stressed than usual, now’s the time to repeat the mantra, “I am where I am. I am where I am.”

    It is far easier to begin to use stress reduction techniques when you allow yourself to “be.” To feel exactly what you’re feeling. To know that no matter WHAT you are feeling, it is right. Even if it’s stress. When you push against what you are feeling, you end up creating judgment and resistance. When you are in a place of judgment about yourself, it creates one more layer that needs to be healed in order to relive the stress. It also completely cuts you off from your inner guidance.

    When you allow yourself to believe, “I am where I am, and that’s okay,” you immediately take the pressure off. You give yourself access to far more resources that will help bring you back to center than if you add more pressure and worry. You connect with inner guidance, with Spirit, with God, and NOW the answers can come.

I recognize this is a BIG shift to make in thinking. So many of us were raised to push ourselves harder when things aren’t going well or that pressure will result in greater rewards. Or, if you take the pressure off, you’ll turn into a goal-less wanderer.

I won’t out and out tell you that this is wrong. I invite you to experiment with “I am where I am” and experience the shift for yourself.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.