Archive for November, 2010

I have had many clients over the last 10 years ask me to create a healing meditation CD for miscarriage and pregnancy loss.   I’ve been reluctant for a number of reasons. 

The deep grief that accompanies a miscarriage or pregnancy loss has felt too big to handle in a “simple” meditation and visualization.  Also, the way that each of us handles such a defining moment is so different.

And yet, women keep asking because there are so many emotions that are present after a loss, as you try again, and when there is a new pregnancy to nurture.  So, I kept checking in with my heart to see when I feel it’s the right time to create these meditations.

The time has come.  I have been getting gentle nudges from Spirit that it’s time to create this CD.  I finally feel like I have done the inner work I need to do to allow these meditations to flow through me so that I can bring them to you.

All that being said, I need your input – from what you’d like to see within this CD to the name of the CD.

Here are my thoughts so far: 3 or 4 tracks.

Track 1: Soothing the rawness (this is intended for use right after the loss)

Track 2: Healing your Mind/ Body / Spirit (this is intended for use as soon as you get your breath back after the initial grief and sadness.  For use when you are getting yourself ready to think about trying again)

Track 3: Trying Again (this is intended for use when you are actively trying again)

Track 4: On Edge: Pregnancy after a miscarriage (this is intended for use once you are successfully carrying a new pregnancy, but understandably worried and concerned.  This may or may not be part of the CD – this might be a separate title).

So here is where you come in.  What is your initial reaction to the proposed tracks?  What would you absolutely want to have included within any or all of the tracks?  For all of you with a gift for words, what title do you suggest for the CD?  For the individual tracks?  Finally, what concerns would you have about a healing meditation CD like this? 

I thank each and every one of you in advance for your thoughtful comments.  Creating this CD is sacred work for me and I honor each of you that contribute to it’s creation and presentation.

If you were to name five characteristics that support balance and fertility, would conflict be in your list? Probably not. From an intuitive view, you can just feel that fertility and conflict are not great partners.

From a scientific viewpoint, the feeling of conflict triggers the fight-or-flight response within your body, which over the long term disrupts your reproductive system. The same response happens within your body whether the conflict is overt (such as an argument with another person), or whether it is more internal (having conflicting feelings about something).

And yet, when you are dealing with fertility challenges, conflict arises over time. Conflict over how you feel about your body, conflict over the next steps, conflict with friends and family, even conflict because you want to feel positive but you can’t and you end up mentally beating yourself up over it.

One of the most important roles of mind~body~spirit work, in my opinion, is to find a way to shift our thoughts and emotions, so we can release conflict within the body. A body without overwhelming conflict comes back into balance more easily and is better equipped to create your wishes and dreams.

So, what does a conflict look like and how do you resolve it?

Let’s take the example from this week’s success story. Heather really wanted to be a mother—and although she didn’t tell me this in her e-mail—I’m making an educated guess she wanted the experience of being pregnant, of having her own biological child.

Is there anything wrong or any sign of conflict by having those desires? Of course not. The conflict begins to show up when you start getting into the following thoughts: “If I don’t get pregnant, I’m failing.” “I have to get pregnant THIS cycle, or I am simply going to fall apart.” “I have to be pregnant or it proves I never get what I want.” “I have to be pregnant or…,” you fill in the blank.

What Heather was able to do was to remove the conflict from this desire by stepping into the belief, “There are many ways to be a mother, and I will eventually find my way to that dream.”

Take a moment simply to feel how your body feels when you read these next two sentences:

“I have to be pregnant this month.”

“I am going to be a mother and will find my way to this desire.”

Can you feel your body relax?

Does making this kind of a shift mean you are giving up on your dream?
Does making this kind of a shift mean you don’t believe you can have what you want?
Does making this kind of shift mean you are telling God / Universe/ Source you don’t care how you become a Mother?

Again, no. Not at all.

All you are doing is finding a way to remove conflict from within your body. You are allowing your body to come back into balance, which is the best possible position to be in, whether you are trying naturally, on your own, or with ART.

I invite you to sit down with a journal—or at the very least a piece of paper—and begin to identify where you feel conflict in yourself. How can you shift your thoughts and beliefs to support a new way of thinking that releases the conflict?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit www.AnjiOnline.com.