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Anji Blog | Helping You Bloom Inside and Out

“The body says what words cannot.”
— Martha Graham (1893 – 1991)

Martha Graham was undoubtedly talking about the body’s expression through dance.

But, think of the daily “dance” of your body throughout the extent of a day. What does your body tell you?

What are the aches and pains, the energy level, the general comfort level you have being inside “your skin” telling you that you need?

What is your body sharing with you through the imbalance manifesting as infertility?

Take a moment today, and listen to what your body is saying to, in ways other than words.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

As you are working to build your family, you have so many options as to how to improve your fertility.

One danger I see is people doing as many different modalities as possible while not paying attention to the “why” of the modality. In other words, “ticking” the box of doing that particular modality without truly integrating it in, so it has the possibility of doing what it was designed to do.

For example, including relaxation or visualization.

The whole point of doing relaxation and/or visualization is to stop the danger signals that are going on in your body. The Relaxation Response shifts the internal chemistry of your body, which in turn, supports, nurtures, and amplifies your fertility.

However, if you are doing the relaxation exercise and then following it up with chaotic days, continual angry, stressful, or anxious thoughts, or multi-tasking through the exercise, the results become null and void.

No judgment, but are you allowing the methods you are using to amplify your fertility, the ability to actually work?

Difficulty with infertility is your body telling you something is out of balance within your body (same as if someone has cancer, heart problems, or diabetes). What is your body telling you? What is your body truly asking for to shift that imbalance?

As humans, we resist change. We want what we want when we want it, without having to make any changes in our lives. I get it. I’m the same way.

You are here and part of the Anji community because you have interest in creating fertility within your body through a Mind~Body~Spirit approach.

If you are willing, I am going to suggest some questions to journal with or simply sit lightly on your consciousness to help you ease into an integration and/or commitment that will change your fertility.

  1. What kind of imbalance is my infertility reflecting to me? Is it in the area of the body, the mind, or the spirit?
  2. What is one step I can take today to bring myself more into Mind~Body~Spirit balance?
  3. What can shift in my life outside of fertility to match the new skills / thought patterns I am learning within my fertility quest?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

What does medical science have to say about the impact stress has on fertility and women who are dealing with infertility?

Research demonstrates the effects of stress are multilayered, including direct effects on the body and indirect effects on a person’s ability to copy and stay in treatment. If I included all the research, this newsletter would be more like the length of a doctoral dissertation. Let me review four of the studies.

In a study of women undergoing either IVF or GIFT procedures, researchers asked the question: Does stress affect fertility and pregnancy rates? The researchers looked at whether stress from a patient’s life situation or stress from the procedure negatively reduced the patient’s ability to achieve pregnancy or to have a live birth. The women were given questionnaires to rate their moods, feelings about infertility, expectation of achieving pregnancy, amount of social support, coping style, and overall stress levels. The questionnaires were completed at their first clinic visit, before and after hormone use, and before embryo transfer.

The results of this study found women who had higher expectations of achieving pregnancy and had less overall stress had a greater number of eggs retrieved and fertilized, a higher number of embryos to transfer, and a higher pregnancy rate as compared to the women who had a lower expectation of pregnancy and a higher rate of stress.

Another study looked at the impact of group psychological interventions on women who had been experiencing infertility for less than two years. This study found women who participated in a mind~body group were more likely to conceive as those who did not.

A third study looked at why women who carry insurance for IVF stop treatment before having a live birth. Thirty-seven percent of the respondents stated it was stress that stopped their participation. The main stressors reported were the impact on their relationships and feelings of anxiety and depression.

Finally, a study looked at the impact of a mind~body group on women, 40 or younger, going through their first IVF cycle. Fifty-two percent of the women participating in the group were successful, while only 20% of the control group became pregnant.

While research demonstrates a mind~body~spirit approach is not a magic pill that guarantees pregnancy, this type of approach, whether used on its own or in conjunction with a medical approach, improves the likelihood of pregnancy.

Possibly even more importantly, it lessens anxiety and depression and gives tangible coping skills for this very challenging life situation. Why do I say this is even more important that getting pregnant? You are able to return to yourself and make choices about treatment from your whole self, which means you make decisions you will be at peace with for the rest of your life.

Not only that, when you are successful, when you do bring your beautiful baby home, you will be able to be even more present and have the tools to help you with the myriad of emotions that come with being a new mother.

Whether you choose to use my products or services, or some other practitioner’s, I highly encourage you to bring this approach into your journey. Your body, mind, and spirit will be refreshed and help lay the foundation to bring you your baby.

Source

Domar AD1, Clapp D, Slawsby EA, Dusek J, Kessel B, Freizinger M. Impact of group psychological interventions on pregnancy rates in infertile women. Fertil Steril. 2000 Apr;73(4):805-11.

Domar AD1, Smith K, Conboy L, Iannone M, Alper M. A prospective investigation into the reasons why insured United States patients drop out of in vitro fertilization treatment. Fertil Steril. 2010 Sep;94(4):1457-9

Domar AD1, Rooney KL, Wiegand B, Orav EJ, Alper MM, Berger BM, Nikolovski J.
Impact of a group mind/body intervention on pregnancy rates in IVF patients. Fertil Steril. 2011 Jun;95(7):2269-73.

Klonoff-Cohen H, Chu E, Natarajan L, Seiber W. A prospective study of stress among women undergoing in vitro fertilitzation or gamete intrafallopian transfer. Fertility and Sterility 2001;76:675-687.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

A common thought in the Mind~Body~Spirit approach to conceiving is that it is helpful to “let go” or “surrender.” I have clients tell me all the time they think they need to surrender because there are so many stories of people “giving up” and then they get pregnant.

Surrendering or letting go is challenging because many people do believe they have to “give up” their desire for a baby.

I do teach surrender all the time with my clients, but here’s what I am asking them to surrender:

  • The constant monkey mind, which is always questioning and asking, “What do I do next?”
  • The attachment to needing a baby. What I mean by this is we often attach very specific meaning to having that baby. To some people it means they are no longer a failure, or have finally proved that they are enough. This creates mental tension. When you can embody the knowing that no matter what happens — baby or no baby — you are going to be okay. You move your entire physical body into a knowing of safety. This creates the emotional chemistry that allows your cells to be in growth mode, which in turn supports your innate fertility.
  • The attachment to how the baby comes. This often creates the most fear. I am not asking you to be comfortable with all avenues to creating a child. I am also not asking you to take any steps into any avenues that you aren’t ready to take (or may even need). However, when you place a limitation such as: I refuse to use medical intervention… or… I refuse to do IVF, etc., then you create a substantial amount of mental resistance, which takes a lot of energy to deflect. This draws down your available physical resources and creates the emotional chemistry that supports fear mode in your cells.

Attachment creates both emotional suffering and physiological changes within your body, which work against your fertility. Surrender is never asking you to give up your desire, simply your attachment to needing the baby to be happy.

Surrender is an evolution. Start today by becoming aware of what you are attaching to your desire to have a baby and how this baby comes to you. Take those questions softly and gently and see what arises.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Do you have a “Doing Addiction”?

I’ve recently re-started going to the gym in the early morning hours. Each time I’ve gone, the same woman has been present both when I start my exercise and when I leave. She runs flat out on the treadmill, reads a magazine, and has ear buds in so she can watch the morning news.

She is a perfect example of how many of us run our lives: doing as much as we can with each moment.

While I have nothing against being productive, the desire to DO in each moment can end up becoming an addiction to the rush of cortisol and adrenaline. Neither of these hormones is friendly to your fertility over the long term. Breaking the habit of cortisol and adrenaline can be as challenging as trying to stop eating sugar or drinking your caffeinated beverage of choice.

If you are experiencing unexplained infertility, or if your fertility treatments have not been as successful as they “should” be, I highly recommend learning to balance your doing with being.

Being is not about sitting on a mountain top meditating while giving everything up but the clothes on your back. Being is not about giving up your desire to have your child.

Being is about creating places of quiet in your life. Being is about allowing peace in your body. Being is about trusting that no matter what happens, you are going to be a Mother and therefore you can feel peace and expectation in this moment, before you have any evidence of a baby.

To discover if you have a “Doing Addiction,” consider the following questions:

  1. When in your life do you allow yourself to be in a space of quiet? (Does your phone accompany you into the restroom? Do you always have the radio or TV on? When you are walking/running/exercising, do have your attention on something else as well?)
  2. What is your relationship with your to-do list? Is it always on your mind? Are you always adding to it?
  3. Do you always feel ‘behind’ and as if you have to catch up with everyone else?
  4. Do you feel guilty if you “just sit”?

If you find you are trending towards having a “Doing Addiction,” I invite you to plan a time of quiet into your daily life. Start small. Start with five minutes. Those minutes may feel like torture but the more you allow yourself peace throughout the day, the more you will lessen the effects on your fertility of constant adrenaline and cortisol.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Several years ago, I worked with a colleague who joked about how her fertility approach was starting to mirror her original approach to finding the right partner. She shared how she and her friends would laugh about how the right partner would only come when they weren’t looking… and spend their dinners out together trying to catch one of the others looking over their shoulders “just in case he was passing by.”

A Mind~Body~Spirit approach to fertility asks you to build your belief and expectation that your baby is on its way to you before you have any physical evidence this is true. In fact, I ask my clients to stop looking at the physical evidence (in essence asking them to stop looking over their shoulders to see if anything has changed).

A Mind~Body~Spirit approach is not generally a quick fix. The first evidence you are making a change shows up as feeling better emotionally and/or feeling more connected with your own divinity or understanding of how this fertility journey fits into the overall pattern of your life.

When you are constantly evaluating and asking, “Is this working,” it negates some of the Mind and Spirit shifts. This kind of question takes you out of trust and triggers the stress response in the body.

So, how do you make sure you are “doing” the approach correctly?

Here are a few guidelines:

  1. Ease all or nothing thinking.

    Of course the goal is to have your baby. At the same time, your body gives you signals it is shifting toward fertility. These signals can look like: your cycle shifting back towards “normal,” less stress, better sleep, less PMS, etc. See all of these signs as a signal you are building momentum towards the baby you want. Allow your momentum to build as opposed to judging a method negatively because it didn’t create a baby the first month.

  2. Ease up on the “why” questions.

    At first glance, “why” questions seem important. After all, if you can answer the “why” then you will most likely know the “how.” Yet, with fertility, this often isn’t the case. Either you are “un-explained” or you know there are certain issues with egg and sperm, but what should be the “how” doesn’t always yield a baby.

    Notice how often you are shifting into the “why” questions: why is this happening, why me, why is this taking so long, why isn’t this working?

    Why questions turn your attention to the past and base your momentum on past conditions (infertility) rather than the condition you want (a baby). Begin to be conscious of how often you are asking “why” questions. When one comes up, use it as a reminder to take a full, deep breath and bring yourself back into the present moment.

  3. Be willing to use emotional shifts as evidence you are making progress to your baby.

    This is often a really big shift to make because we are not used to emotions being anything other than something that makes us feel good or bad. In fact many people push away emotions.

    Your emotions are your key to how your body is functioning. This is a simplification, but — if you feel good, you are allowing your body to be in full functioning mode. If you feel bad, your body is receiving signals to start a stress response and shut down all but essential actions in your cells.

    Put your focus on being willing to a) Make the emotional shift (even feeling neutral rather than stressed is better for your body, and b) Celebrate the progress you are making towards your baby.

As you ease yourself through the ease of these steps, you will find yourself stepping more confidently into a feeling-state of hope, expectation and belief. These feeling-states will propel you forward towards your baby.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

Why is “relaxing” important for fertility?

The word “relax” conjures up images of lying on a beach, a drink (perhaps with an umbrella) in one hand, a summer beach read in the other, and not a care in the world.

When someone who has not experienced infertility tells someone who is currently having challenges to “just relax” the implication is: you’re overthinking this, you’re creating your own problem, if you just stopped worrying and fretting, then you’d get what you want (and oh, by the way, it’s easy to do all of this).

When this comes from the outside, it is one of the rudest and perhaps meanest comments because it completely dismisses all the emotions of a heart-wrenching experience. It’s like a slap in the face.

However, when you take a Mind~Body~Spirit approach to your fertility, you begin to learn the deep benefits of the Relaxation Response. The Relaxation Response is a term that describes a state of rest and well-being within your body.

When you purposefully begin to engage the Relaxation Response, this is what happens with your body and your fertility:

  • Your cells become protected from stress messages and do not respond by engaging the fight or flight response. Long-term exposure to the fight or flight response damages your fertility.
  • Your cells are able to work with their healthy, normal processes, which supports your fertility.
  • You reduce depression and anxiety, both of which have been shown to decrease fertility.
  • You are not as affected by the ups and downs of dealing with fertility challenges.
  • You have an easier time connecting with your inner wisdom and understanding of what subconscious patterns might be impacting your fertility.
  • You have an easier time making decisions, which will support you long term.

The Relaxation Response provides deep healing to your physical body, which opens you up to engaging the Being Fertile state of being.

While the words “Relaxation Response” can sound very similar to “just relax,” nothing could be further from the truth. You are choosing to create a state of being that will actively align you with and pull you toward your desired family.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

A simple Google search of the term “fertility help” yields 60,300,000 entries.

Can they all be helpful to you? Can they really give you the pregnancy success they promise?

When you have tried dozens out of the 60 million options without luck, it’s reasonable to become a bit jaded and cautious. How do you utilize products/services that will help you and release the rest?

Here are three steps to take, which will help you improve your own success.

  1. Spend time developing your own internal connection.You are your own unique constellation of cells. What works for your body may not work for someone else’s body and visa-versa. This is both empowering and completely overwhelming. How do you make decisions? Will somebody else’s success story carry over to you if you follow the same steps?

    Spend time getting quiet and learning to listen to your body’s yes/no response. While you could call this intuition, I believe it goes even deeper.

    You have your own individual connection with the Divine. When you learn to tune into, hear, and follow what your guidance is telling you, now you are able to discern whether a particular method, nutritional supplement, or physical activity will support your fertility.

    Read the research, read what others have said, and then put that information aside and tune into your guidance.

  2. Go all in.Once you’ve decided, go all in. Put all your focus on following the method. Believe in its success.

    If you spend time second guessing yourself, wondering if you have made the right choice, wondering how you’d be doing with a different choice or any other monkey mind chatter, you diminish your body’s ability to fully utilize the choice you have made.

    Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t get to change your mind, or a particular program/supplement, etc., will always be the right choice to follow. I’m not suggesting you but blind faith into a single action step or a single person.

    There is a difference between second guessing yourself and listening to your guidance. If you have spent time doing step #1, you will be able to discern whether you are simply feeling a little anxiety because you really want your baby and when you are getting an intuitive hit that it is time to transition to another method.

  3. Allow it to be a series of successes leading to your baby.Instant success (especially after all your years of trying) is highly desirable, right?

    At the same time, when you NEED THIS program/supplement/doctor/approach to work RIGHT NOW, you place incredible stress on your body at both the cellular and energetic levels. I understand it is easy to feel this month needs to be the month, especially if you are feeling time and/or budget issues.

    But, how would your decision making process improve if you listened to what your mind~body~spirit needs in this particular moment? Perhaps your emotions need support now, which will set you up to be ready for the body-based treatment you do in three months?

    Most often, success comes from a series of action steps. And again, success is augmented when you’ve spent some time cultivating your inner connection, so you can feel confident you are on your path to a baby.

No one method works for everyone. Trust yourself. Trust you are listening to your mind~body~spirit connection and know you are on your way to success.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” — Victor Frankel

Our human nature drives to try to “known” solutions before doing something else. It’s not that we only want an easy solution; it’s more about: how can you try something you don’t know about?

Yet, when a big problem persists, it’s time to find out what you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Mind~Body~Spirit solutions for fertility issues typically fall into the “didn’t know you didn’t know” category. Taking on a M~B~S view of fertility requires moving from believing doctors and medical science have ALL the answers to uncovering your own role in your health.

You have probably made steps to taking care of your own health in the areas of diet and exercise before. However, what about listening to the deeper messages from your body?

Here’s something to think about: In addition to being painful, excruciatingly frustrating, depressing, sad, and (add your current emotion here), infertility is also a message to you from your body.

A message energy is blocked somewhere in your body. A message your body is trying to get your attention in the only way it knows how. A message that when you really hear it; will tell you what to do to heal.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. in “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” describes this eloquently:

“Every thought we think has a biochemical equivalent. Every emotion we feel has a biochemical equivalent. One of my colleagues says, ‘The mind is the space between the cells.’ So when the part of your mind that is your uterus talks to you, through pain or excessive bleeding, are you prepared to listen to it?”

This can be quite a challenge to get your mind wrapped around. We typically aren’t taught to listen to our bodies. We’re taught to cover up symptoms with Tylenol or Tums. We’re taught to push through our body’s pain. Not with malicious intent — but from a disconnected understanding of how the body works.

I invite you to begin to step up to this new challenge to change yourself. Begin to start thinking of all of the physical symptoms in your body — painful periods, short luteal phases, muscle pain, headaches, and digestive issues — as messages from your body.

Take time to quiet your mind, take a couple of deep breaths, and then drop your awareness down into your body and ask, “What do you want me to know?”

You’ll be amazed at what you hear once you start listening.

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

If you were to add up the thoughts you think during any given day, do you think the average would be more about what you want or what you don’t want?

If you are thinking about what you want, do you find you are thinking those thoughts from a place of expectation or yearning?

If you can hold your thoughts of what you want from a place of expectation for at least 51% of the time, you are creating momentum towards what you want. Any percentage above 51%, you are accelerating your momentum.

I’m hopeful you truly absorbed the 51%. What this means is: you don’t have to be perfect in your thoughts. You simply have to be intentional.

How do you hold thoughts of what you want when you’ve been trying to have a baby for so long?

Allow your emotions to lead the way.

Let me give you an example.

How will having a baby make you feel? Happy? Relieved? Ecstatic? Maternal? Joyful?

Once you have your feeling state identified, set an intention each morning to create this emotional state throughout the day. This intention sets the ball rolling within your subconscious to bring evidence to your conscious mind that will support your intention.

You’ll begin to be aware of all the events happening within your day-to-day life that already bring you this emotion. As you build your experience of the emotion, you will build your expectation that you will continue to have more experiences with that emotion.

As your expectation builds, two extraordinary changes happen. First, you create a cascade of physiological changes within your body that support fertility. Second, you shift your ability to receive your desires from the universe.

Ready to set your intention?

Jennifer Bloome is a Fertility Expert helping women energetically balance and heal their mind, body, and spirit to boost natural fertility. Jennifer is the creator of the internationally recognized Journey of the Heart series of guided meditations to support women in all stages of fertility treatment and pregnancy. For 3 no-charge guided meditations as well as information on teleclasses or individual sessions, please visit http://www.anjionline.com.

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